IVF Stim Day 8

I was so tempted to write IVF #1 but NO, I'm not going to put a number on it...because number implies that there's going to be more than one. Last night, I was praying. January ...well, even the holidays have been busy and I haven't done devotions or quiet time in forever. I sing worship music in the car but I get distracted by the singing of it and not contemplating the words. Scott and I have prayed for this cycle to be successful but once I started injections, I stopped really specifically praying for it. Almost scared to. Scared to put too much into it. I mean, on every other month of the last two years, I poured prayers into every day. Prayed at every possible step that could have been happening to bring a family. And all those prayers went unanswered. Or they were answered, with big fat NOs.

Then the first scan on Sunday showed less follicles and smaller follicles than the blogs I read. I started praying again. That more develop...that the ones that are there all develop and mature and at the same rate. Last night, Scott and I prayed for this morning's appointment and I wondered...could God punish me for not praying during this month...do I not have a chance because I keep saying I'm going to read my bible but I never get to it. I don't know. I don't believe God punishes people. But I can't say I understand the correlation. I did everything right so many months before...prayed every day for this...read the bible and did devotions and nothing happened.

Well, I definitely prayed and this morning's appt was so much better. It was a different doctor, damn a clinic although they are the main clinic on the island. He quickly showed me that I had much more follicles, twice as much as I did on the previous scan although the new ones were much smaller. Still, I know from my reading and what he told me that any of them can catch up and he says they'll try to recover eggs from all the follies. He did say that the best ones usually come from the follies that grow the fastest.

Disappointing with this new doctor is that he didn't say the sizes of the follies out loud. He knew I was worried and said that I had two that were 12 mm on my right ovary but then he moved to the smaller ones and stopped talking. He would just lean back and the nurse would look at some number and write it down. I was real disappointed. I know that they should ideally be over 10 mm but they're really slow growers. I googled other people's scans and most of them were around 15-16 mm at this point (19 and above is considered ideal and mature). I also must say that he was real rough. If you have not been through this, when I say ultrasound, it ain't no gliding on the tummy ultrasound. I am not going to say what it is but you can google it. Ouch!!!

I am thinking that I am going to have to do these injections longer than normal since my follies are turtle growers. That doesn't make me happy. I'm so anxious now that it's getting closer.