Day 5 of stims
We've done four nights of stim drugs bra.velle and men.opur. This morning I went in for an estrogen check and ultra sound. The estrogen level came back normal although they didn't give me a number.
The scan...he started off with the left ovary and I could tell he couldn't see anything. Then he moved to the right and phew...I saw the big circles. He said they needed more than three. He counted five all around 6-8 mm. Then he moved back to the left ovary and he kept moving around...until he saw two faint circles. They were around 6-7 mm...he believes that my left ovary is physically high.
I went back to work and I googled. Apparently, people are usually in the teens...some people had 18 follies at this first scan. Other follies can appear but this kind of shows you the range. And those people had half of their follies over 10 mm, apparently, they're not legit until they get to that range.
So, I'm officially a slow or low responder. Actually, I'm super disappointed. The last time I went in for the IVF consult I was on day 7 or 8 of a normal cycle and the doctor counted like six or seven on either side. So, with all these drugs, I've actually produced less. What!!!
Well, it does mean that I might be on these injections a little longer as I have slow growers. I got the call that I don't need to come back for my next appointment for three days. Not even in two days, three days. Oh, please let the next scan show miraculous numbers and growth.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Secrecy
We're starting our journey to a family in our bedroom. Just not in your conventional way. Last night, I had a music practice which got booted out of our rehearsal space so I volunteered to move it to our house. So, there I am with a group of 11 people milling into my home where Scott had two of his guy friends over. They were going to have guys night while I was at worship parctice. Mostly everyone had left but there were still some stragglers playing video games by the time 10 rolled around. So, we snuck into our bedroom and dumped our little brav.elle and men.opur vials on the bed and Scott started mixing up last night's batch.
One of these days, maybe we'll get to have an injection in an empty house. Maybe go outside and use the dining room table. The lighting in our bedroom is dim so I have to turn on all our lamps and overhead light and even the closet light so scott can see the needle when he's mixing the medication. Starting this weekend, we'll also have a houseguest in addition our existing roommate. We're actually having three different parties stay with us one after the other. Should be interesting.
I had a great sleep last night. I love being so tired that I fall asleep quickly. It's lovely.
One of these days, maybe we'll get to have an injection in an empty house. Maybe go outside and use the dining room table. The lighting in our bedroom is dim so I have to turn on all our lamps and overhead light and even the closet light so scott can see the needle when he's mixing the medication. Starting this weekend, we'll also have a houseguest in addition our existing roommate. We're actually having three different parties stay with us one after the other. Should be interesting.
I had a great sleep last night. I love being so tired that I fall asleep quickly. It's lovely.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
1-2-3 Go Ovaries
Two days ago, I took a blood test to check my estradiol levels. They didn't tell me what exactly the level, but its' okayed to proceed with the next step. I've been on Lu.pron for 10 days which has been suppressing my system to give me a rest. Last night, my dosage of Lu.pron was halved and I am now starting my second shots, a combination of Brav.elle and Men.opur, which are synthetic versions of my FSH and LH hormones...the hormones to stimulate the ovaries to produce eggs. Go ovaries go!!! This is the exciting part for me because now my body is moving into an active stage. I'm nervous because everyone has said that the last few days they get really uncomfortable and bloated.
We had to make a new batch of Lu.pron syringes. you can premake these and just store refridgerated. Haven't told my roommate yet, just haven't felt like I want to share yet so we dumped the boxes out on our bed and made the syringes there. Well, Scott did. He's a natural at the whole thing. This was our first time with the tummy shot. It pinched a little more than the leg shot and I was trying to focus to relax which made me want to tense up and so I started to giggle nervously. I noticed that a drop of medicine oozed out afterward which worried me because the nurse said not to waste a drop of it. So I lay down hoping that gravity would absorb it into my skin. Not likely. But I have read that that is common...so whew.
So now our prayers include an ovarian race. Go Team ovaries. I'm praying for plenty nice big follicles, with lots of eggs for the harvest. It's starting, I'm so excited.
We had to make a new batch of Lu.pron syringes. you can premake these and just store refridgerated. Haven't told my roommate yet, just haven't felt like I want to share yet so we dumped the boxes out on our bed and made the syringes there. Well, Scott did. He's a natural at the whole thing. This was our first time with the tummy shot. It pinched a little more than the leg shot and I was trying to focus to relax which made me want to tense up and so I started to giggle nervously. I noticed that a drop of medicine oozed out afterward which worried me because the nurse said not to waste a drop of it. So I lay down hoping that gravity would absorb it into my skin. Not likely. But I have read that that is common...so whew.
So now our prayers include an ovarian race. Go Team ovaries. I'm praying for plenty nice big follicles, with lots of eggs for the harvest. It's starting, I'm so excited.
Friday, January 22, 2010
5 Lupron Injections Down
My sister asked me how my injections went. The first one was planned for this past Sunday and the nurse recommended that we preload ten syringes with lup.ron and just keep on hand. I had these visions of us having a quiet, empty house where we could practice loading the syringes and we would review my notes for injections. Big fat wrong.
I had a superlong day at work, drove to Waipahu to pick up my 3 year old niece, came home for us to drive to Maunawili Park to play tennis with our gang of friends...only to be followed to our house by half the gang. Thankfully, on his own, Scott had managed to premake four needles before I came home from work. So, we took fifteen seconds for me to plop down (next to my niece who was coloring) and Scott shot my leg up with Lupron. It was quicky and pretty painless. We didn't really prepare so he forgot two things, like holding my leg with the other hand (the next day he did it and it feels ten times better) and counting to three to make sure the medicine disperses. 1 syringe used...3 left. We planned to take some quiet time in the following days to prepare the other syringes. Big chubby wrong.
We are painting our kitchen and repairing the floor in one of the bedrooms. So the contents of our kitchen are strewn over every possible surface in the house and every day I come home to Scott, our kitchen painter, the kitchen painter's family (pregnant wife and three kids), our friend carpenter and his friend (they hang out together everyday). It's been chaotic. Last night, we had to take the microwave off the dining room table so we had a corner to make more syringes.
I must say, shots in the leg are the least scary. Legs seem tougher and less sensitive. I wish all the shots were in the legs. But there was one night, the night before last night, when it hurt like dickens. I don't know what happened. But it hurt like crazy going in and hurt like crazy the entire time. When he pulled it out, there was a big fat droplet of blood. I'm not kidding, it was so painful. Now there's fear when I have to my nightly L.upron shot. Thankfully, last night was back to a normal shot feeling. But you have to rotate legs, so tonight it's back to the leg that had the painful experience. Oooh, nervous.
I've read some of the side effects of L.upron and it scares me a little. I'm kinda worried we are doing it wrong because I haven't noticed any side effects. No hot flashes. My hips hurt the first night but it might have been from playing tennis because it faded away. I hope we didn't load the syringes wrong or are using defunct medicine and that's why I don't feel any different. THe nurse said it was a real low amount and we may not feel anything. Yesterday was super long and super stressful so I'm tired and overwhelmed at work. I can't wait to go home and have an hour of nothing before the night craziness begins. There's like a party going on in my office or something...it's been loud all day, all these people who work in different offices have decided to come socialize with my coworkers. It hurts my head. No work done today....just waiting to go home.
I had a superlong day at work, drove to Waipahu to pick up my 3 year old niece, came home for us to drive to Maunawili Park to play tennis with our gang of friends...only to be followed to our house by half the gang. Thankfully, on his own, Scott had managed to premake four needles before I came home from work. So, we took fifteen seconds for me to plop down (next to my niece who was coloring) and Scott shot my leg up with Lupron. It was quicky and pretty painless. We didn't really prepare so he forgot two things, like holding my leg with the other hand (the next day he did it and it feels ten times better) and counting to three to make sure the medicine disperses. 1 syringe used...3 left. We planned to take some quiet time in the following days to prepare the other syringes. Big chubby wrong.
We are painting our kitchen and repairing the floor in one of the bedrooms. So the contents of our kitchen are strewn over every possible surface in the house and every day I come home to Scott, our kitchen painter, the kitchen painter's family (pregnant wife and three kids), our friend carpenter and his friend (they hang out together everyday). It's been chaotic. Last night, we had to take the microwave off the dining room table so we had a corner to make more syringes.
I must say, shots in the leg are the least scary. Legs seem tougher and less sensitive. I wish all the shots were in the legs. But there was one night, the night before last night, when it hurt like dickens. I don't know what happened. But it hurt like crazy going in and hurt like crazy the entire time. When he pulled it out, there was a big fat droplet of blood. I'm not kidding, it was so painful. Now there's fear when I have to my nightly L.upron shot. Thankfully, last night was back to a normal shot feeling. But you have to rotate legs, so tonight it's back to the leg that had the painful experience. Oooh, nervous.
I've read some of the side effects of L.upron and it scares me a little. I'm kinda worried we are doing it wrong because I haven't noticed any side effects. No hot flashes. My hips hurt the first night but it might have been from playing tennis because it faded away. I hope we didn't load the syringes wrong or are using defunct medicine and that's why I don't feel any different. THe nurse said it was a real low amount and we may not feel anything. Yesterday was super long and super stressful so I'm tired and overwhelmed at work. I can't wait to go home and have an hour of nothing before the night craziness begins. There's like a party going on in my office or something...it's been loud all day, all these people who work in different offices have decided to come socialize with my coworkers. It hurts my head. No work done today....just waiting to go home.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Injection class for IVF
I'm back. Geez, I dropped off this blog awhile ago but I feel I just have to document this step in our baby/babies journey.
Update: We decided to go to IVF in July 2009. They said we would have to take a break for a month and then another month or so to get approval. So, I thought September/October. Well, it took four months just to get the approval. I was so mad. If I had known, I would have just finished up our last month on clomid. Of course, we prayed for a baby to appear in those months we were waiting for our IVF approval....please don't let it come to this. But it did. So, I've been on birth control pills for the last month and on Sunday, we begin our Lupron injections.
I have an Excel calendar that I made up with my IVF calendar so I've been crossing off each day, so anxious for something to start. To be able to do something. I read somewhere that no matter your fear with needles, you get excited about injections just because it's so rare that there's something physical that you can do that feels like you're actually doing something. That you're controlling something that might actually help you have a baby. It's so true.
Today was our injection class. I brought questions and I fully expected to do it myself and have Scott assist so that he could do it if needed. I was totally wrong. He had to learn it all by himself. The only one a little more ataken back by that was him. I think the term "injection class" is a little misleading. I pictured some slides and videos...a powerpoint presentation, with a slow hands-on introduction to needles and such. The nurse, a sweet nurse but she had a thick Chinese accent, took us into a small office and immediately started dumping needles on her desk. I was delighted when she said that she was going to teach Scott (I can't keep referring him to as a nameless guy...I think he has a pretty common enough name that I'll just use it without fear of people finding us on the web....but I'm still anonymous) and that I didn't need to really learn. He should do all the shots. Oh, thank God. The relief was immense. Then she said that she was going to have him practice giving me shots today. Oh, stress level back up to ten. Whoa, what? I read on blogs that people practiced on oranges and then maybe once on themselves.
She starts to show him and I start scribbling down every little word and direction in my little notepad. She speaks seriously like 85 words per minute...and with that thick accent. Whoo, we both were getting a little overwhelmed. She showed him to pull the liquid out of the vial into the syringe. And when we pointed out the little air bubbles in Scott's syringe, she paused for 0.01 seconds and waved it off and said "that won't kill her, they too little." Wait, wait, at what size might they possible kill me. Thankfully, she let him empty the syringe and try again. He was just practicing with a saline solution.
Then it was time for him to give me the shot of saline for practice. I immediately felt my pulse accelerating, my breathing started to get shallow and rapid, and I was gripping my chair. Needles freak me out. I think my eyes were getting a little wide as the nurse and Scott both turned my way. The nurse must have sensed it because she came to stand by my side under the pretense of supervising Scott but I think it was so she could grip my arms and make sure I didn't bolt. I had the foresight to wear shorts to the appointment. I couldn't believe they don't tell you that important but I read that they like you to practice once in front of them. So, there's my left handed hubby gripping a small needle in his hand. His other hand is on my leg circling the area he's eyeing. And my heart is going crazy. He's staring at my leg and he keeps asking the nurse nonstop questions quickly. He's nervous, he's scared. I can totally tell, he's asking "do I do it now? Are you ready?" The nurse tells him "Yes, do it now." He lines it up and then he keeps asking "Now? Do I do it now? " I realize that he's not sure if he can do it and I start getting freaked. What if he gets scared and stabs me in the wrong place? Then I start laughing, nervously. Then he starts laughing, nervously. Now, he's holding a needle inches away from my leg and shuddering with laughter. Aw, so dangerous. It was like a bloopers reel, it took forever for us to calm down. And he gave me the shot, and it seriously was not bad. It's a real small needle. That's for the Lupron injections to have daily. Lupro.n is to suppress my egg ovulation to keep me from ovulating before we're ready.
The next thing he practiced was my injections for Bravel.le and Men.opur. this one he had to use one syringe to draw out of four different vials first. This one will be injected into my stomach. Thankfully, she had a fake square that he just practiced injecting into. Awesome, that was easy for me. Bravel.le and Men.opur are the drugs that simulate FSH and LH which women produce naturally every time that stimulate egg production.
The injections above are subcutaneous injections. This means that they are small needles that inject just below the skin layer into the fatty layer. The nurse said that it hurts less because the needles are smaller and because it's going into fat. I was stoked. Oooh, I have plenty of fat. You mean it's going to come in handy. Even better is when I had changed into my shorts for the first practice injection and she practically shrieked in glee at the sight of my legs. Scott swears she said "oh, those legs are good and wide." She quickly changed it to saying that I had great legs for these injections because my skin is so "soft." Nice.
The last injection he had to practice is IM, and intramuscular injection. This injection will have to be in my rear end, although it was higher than I thought, it was more my waist and nearer the hip. This one had a long needle and she told me to stand against the wall with my weight on one leg so that the other side was nice and relaxed. She directed me to lean against the wall and pull down my shorts to expose a cheek. Whoa, I was not prepared for this. I don't think I have seen my rear end in years, I wasn't really expecting to have a stranger using it as a lesson. Not to mention the wide panoramic bay window along the opposite office wall. I asked her if maybe we should close the blinds first. In her quick maternal way, she brushed off my silly request and said "No worry, no one going see you." Hmmm, we are on the ninth floor but I can still clearly see the windows of the 15th floor apartment building across the way. Hey, at this point, I don't care. There is no modesty inf ertility treatment. Your body is no longer a private matter. So, I faced the wall and obliged.
The rear end shot...yah, that one hurt. It stunk for like an hour afterward. Boy, if we get pregnant, we have to do that shot every day for the first trimester. I can see how your rear end feels like a bruised grape by the end...still all worth it.
well, that was today. We're hiding our medicine in a drink fridge that we snuck into our bedroom. I don't feel comfortable telling my roommate just yet. But I have a few friends that I trust and want to share this journey with. Thanks for reading.
Update: We decided to go to IVF in July 2009. They said we would have to take a break for a month and then another month or so to get approval. So, I thought September/October. Well, it took four months just to get the approval. I was so mad. If I had known, I would have just finished up our last month on clomid. Of course, we prayed for a baby to appear in those months we were waiting for our IVF approval....please don't let it come to this. But it did. So, I've been on birth control pills for the last month and on Sunday, we begin our Lupron injections.
I have an Excel calendar that I made up with my IVF calendar so I've been crossing off each day, so anxious for something to start. To be able to do something. I read somewhere that no matter your fear with needles, you get excited about injections just because it's so rare that there's something physical that you can do that feels like you're actually doing something. That you're controlling something that might actually help you have a baby. It's so true.
Today was our injection class. I brought questions and I fully expected to do it myself and have Scott assist so that he could do it if needed. I was totally wrong. He had to learn it all by himself. The only one a little more ataken back by that was him. I think the term "injection class" is a little misleading. I pictured some slides and videos...a powerpoint presentation, with a slow hands-on introduction to needles and such. The nurse, a sweet nurse but she had a thick Chinese accent, took us into a small office and immediately started dumping needles on her desk. I was delighted when she said that she was going to teach Scott (I can't keep referring him to as a nameless guy...I think he has a pretty common enough name that I'll just use it without fear of people finding us on the web....but I'm still anonymous) and that I didn't need to really learn. He should do all the shots. Oh, thank God. The relief was immense. Then she said that she was going to have him practice giving me shots today. Oh, stress level back up to ten. Whoa, what? I read on blogs that people practiced on oranges and then maybe once on themselves.
She starts to show him and I start scribbling down every little word and direction in my little notepad. She speaks seriously like 85 words per minute...and with that thick accent. Whoo, we both were getting a little overwhelmed. She showed him to pull the liquid out of the vial into the syringe. And when we pointed out the little air bubbles in Scott's syringe, she paused for 0.01 seconds and waved it off and said "that won't kill her, they too little." Wait, wait, at what size might they possible kill me. Thankfully, she let him empty the syringe and try again. He was just practicing with a saline solution.
Then it was time for him to give me the shot of saline for practice. I immediately felt my pulse accelerating, my breathing started to get shallow and rapid, and I was gripping my chair. Needles freak me out. I think my eyes were getting a little wide as the nurse and Scott both turned my way. The nurse must have sensed it because she came to stand by my side under the pretense of supervising Scott but I think it was so she could grip my arms and make sure I didn't bolt. I had the foresight to wear shorts to the appointment. I couldn't believe they don't tell you that important but I read that they like you to practice once in front of them. So, there's my left handed hubby gripping a small needle in his hand. His other hand is on my leg circling the area he's eyeing. And my heart is going crazy. He's staring at my leg and he keeps asking the nurse nonstop questions quickly. He's nervous, he's scared. I can totally tell, he's asking "do I do it now? Are you ready?" The nurse tells him "Yes, do it now." He lines it up and then he keeps asking "Now? Do I do it now? " I realize that he's not sure if he can do it and I start getting freaked. What if he gets scared and stabs me in the wrong place? Then I start laughing, nervously. Then he starts laughing, nervously. Now, he's holding a needle inches away from my leg and shuddering with laughter. Aw, so dangerous. It was like a bloopers reel, it took forever for us to calm down. And he gave me the shot, and it seriously was not bad. It's a real small needle. That's for the Lupron injections to have daily. Lupro.n is to suppress my egg ovulation to keep me from ovulating before we're ready.
The next thing he practiced was my injections for Bravel.le and Men.opur. this one he had to use one syringe to draw out of four different vials first. This one will be injected into my stomach. Thankfully, she had a fake square that he just practiced injecting into. Awesome, that was easy for me. Bravel.le and Men.opur are the drugs that simulate FSH and LH which women produce naturally every time that stimulate egg production.
The injections above are subcutaneous injections. This means that they are small needles that inject just below the skin layer into the fatty layer. The nurse said that it hurts less because the needles are smaller and because it's going into fat. I was stoked. Oooh, I have plenty of fat. You mean it's going to come in handy. Even better is when I had changed into my shorts for the first practice injection and she practically shrieked in glee at the sight of my legs. Scott swears she said "oh, those legs are good and wide." She quickly changed it to saying that I had great legs for these injections because my skin is so "soft." Nice.
The last injection he had to practice is IM, and intramuscular injection. This injection will have to be in my rear end, although it was higher than I thought, it was more my waist and nearer the hip. This one had a long needle and she told me to stand against the wall with my weight on one leg so that the other side was nice and relaxed. She directed me to lean against the wall and pull down my shorts to expose a cheek. Whoa, I was not prepared for this. I don't think I have seen my rear end in years, I wasn't really expecting to have a stranger using it as a lesson. Not to mention the wide panoramic bay window along the opposite office wall. I asked her if maybe we should close the blinds first. In her quick maternal way, she brushed off my silly request and said "No worry, no one going see you." Hmmm, we are on the ninth floor but I can still clearly see the windows of the 15th floor apartment building across the way. Hey, at this point, I don't care. There is no modesty inf ertility treatment. Your body is no longer a private matter. So, I faced the wall and obliged.
The rear end shot...yah, that one hurt. It stunk for like an hour afterward. Boy, if we get pregnant, we have to do that shot every day for the first trimester. I can see how your rear end feels like a bruised grape by the end...still all worth it.
well, that was today. We're hiding our medicine in a drink fridge that we snuck into our bedroom. I don't feel comfortable telling my roommate just yet. But I have a few friends that I trust and want to share this journey with. Thanks for reading.
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