Today's BBT=97.59
Last two day, I have had very nice low pre-ovulatory temps. Well, we did use AC the last two nights. So, in order to get approval to even see the IVF specialist (thanks Kaiser), hubby and I have to go through some screening tests. I was supposed to wait until day 3 of my cycle. So day, three I started driving to the lab. I was halfway there when I realized that the paper said that one of the tests could only be done before 10 am...and it was ten thirty. I didn't want to have to get blood drawn twice so I figured I would just chance waiting until day 4. So next morning, got there nice and early (I was so tired since I work at nights). Get there...oh, they don't do that one stupid test on Friday. So they had to do all the rest of the tests and was told to come back for that one stupid Cystic fibrosis screen. The guy was real nice but he had trouble getting the vein on the left side...so after a minute, he gave up and had to switch arms. And then they had to fill like 8 different vials.
Today I went back for that last blood draw. My arms had developed some bruising from the draws last week. The guy was real nice so I tried to hide it with my T-shirt. So, we went straight to my good arm and he was having trouble with that one. I have low blood pressure and have been told my veins roll. They will also collapse sometimes when I'm trying to donate blood. So he was poking around for a while and had to try different areas. I have a proble with needles so I actually started to feel a little sick and lightheaded. I had to concentrate on breathing deeply. When I walked out, I wanted to cry because I looked at my bruised arms and thought "This is how much we want you (our future children)." I will do this every day if it means it brings our kids to us.
Some of my levels came in and they were very reassuring
FSH 9.7
LH 5.1
Estradiol 37.8
TSH 2.78
Rubella +
Variella Zoster +
Blood Type B+
And all my blood cell counts are normal. I'm not really sure about the Rubella and Variella Zoster...I read that it could be you either have them in your cells or you just got a vaccination when younger. I am so relieved. Of course, I'm worried about the progesterone level I had on my last cycle but these were definitely such a relief to read. So, now my hubby has to somehow get his results from his doctor and get it to my doctor because we have different medical plans. I wonder how long we have to wait until we hear about the next step.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Cycle 15: CD 2
Today's BBT: I didn't give a damn.
hah, that was fun to write. I really like to take my picture even on days I know it's not critical. I just took today off. It's the scientist in me, I love the data just to observe for long days on the excel spreadsheet, searching for any sort of patterns. Hmm, I heard rumors that someone is pregnant...now I'm thinking about who it might be. If it's this one girl who I never see, then I'm good. If it's this other girl, then I'm sad. I knew this other girl and her hubby started trying but I hadn't heard any proclamation of happy news so I was kind of hoping that she wouldn't get pregnant and maybe I wouldn't be the only girl in my stage of life that is having difficulties. I'm surrounded by other couples who got married around the same time that we did but just haven't started their family journey. So they kind of look at me with pity when we ask for prayer in our efforts to have a baby. Instead they talk about how they are trying to not have kids right now because that's for later. I'm sure they think I'm abnormal.
I'm trying hard to stay on my stress-free enjoy life. I had a great date night with the hubby last night. Thought...man, our lives are pretty awesome. I wonder if I could get used to this, the kid-less life. Hubby says he wouldn't want to...he really wants kids. I'm so relieved to hear that we're moving towards the same goals. He wanted to wait two years before we had kids after marriage. I wanted to start right away. We talked about it often although we did agree to the two years. then our friends had an adorable baby and he started to have moments when he said "maybe we should have a baby now...I would really like that." So, I jumped all over that before he could take it back. So he was in the quest for a baby but definitely with not the same fervor as me. I kept tabs of what cycle day we were on (this was before I bought and ovulator detector or charted temps). And on our fourth month, we got pregnant. I remember the positive test and feeling really nervous about telling him. I know he had agreed to it but he freely acknowledged that he was scared that he wouldn't be ready. I think how different it will be when we finally have another positive test. I was nervous about how he would receive it...now I know I'll be nothing but thrilled to give him something I know he wants so much.
I'm determined to enjoy my life and every day on this journey...even this spell of infertility failure. We talk about it...but we don't talk about it all the time. I'm trying to avoid things that bring me stress. it's hard because I take little failures hugely. One of my coworkers was making comments about my tardiness to work. It took me a few days but I finally shook it off and I've showed up early the past two weeks. Then today, I see a note on the microwave at work complaining that they had just cleaned it and two days later, there was oily orange stains on it. Oh, that's so me. I heated up spaghettio's on Monday in the microwave...oily and orange. Yup, that describes it. So, I'm hit with a wave of sadness but I really hope it fades and I don't take it so personal. I am trying to ignore all the little things that remind me of my mistakes and failures.
hah, that was fun to write. I really like to take my picture even on days I know it's not critical. I just took today off. It's the scientist in me, I love the data just to observe for long days on the excel spreadsheet, searching for any sort of patterns. Hmm, I heard rumors that someone is pregnant...now I'm thinking about who it might be. If it's this one girl who I never see, then I'm good. If it's this other girl, then I'm sad. I knew this other girl and her hubby started trying but I hadn't heard any proclamation of happy news so I was kind of hoping that she wouldn't get pregnant and maybe I wouldn't be the only girl in my stage of life that is having difficulties. I'm surrounded by other couples who got married around the same time that we did but just haven't started their family journey. So they kind of look at me with pity when we ask for prayer in our efforts to have a baby. Instead they talk about how they are trying to not have kids right now because that's for later. I'm sure they think I'm abnormal.
I'm trying hard to stay on my stress-free enjoy life. I had a great date night with the hubby last night. Thought...man, our lives are pretty awesome. I wonder if I could get used to this, the kid-less life. Hubby says he wouldn't want to...he really wants kids. I'm so relieved to hear that we're moving towards the same goals. He wanted to wait two years before we had kids after marriage. I wanted to start right away. We talked about it often although we did agree to the two years. then our friends had an adorable baby and he started to have moments when he said "maybe we should have a baby now...I would really like that." So, I jumped all over that before he could take it back. So he was in the quest for a baby but definitely with not the same fervor as me. I kept tabs of what cycle day we were on (this was before I bought and ovulator detector or charted temps). And on our fourth month, we got pregnant. I remember the positive test and feeling really nervous about telling him. I know he had agreed to it but he freely acknowledged that he was scared that he wouldn't be ready. I think how different it will be when we finally have another positive test. I was nervous about how he would receive it...now I know I'll be nothing but thrilled to give him something I know he wants so much.
I'm determined to enjoy my life and every day on this journey...even this spell of infertility failure. We talk about it...but we don't talk about it all the time. I'm trying to avoid things that bring me stress. it's hard because I take little failures hugely. One of my coworkers was making comments about my tardiness to work. It took me a few days but I finally shook it off and I've showed up early the past two weeks. Then today, I see a note on the microwave at work complaining that they had just cleaned it and two days later, there was oily orange stains on it. Oh, that's so me. I heated up spaghettio's on Monday in the microwave...oily and orange. Yup, that describes it. So, I'm hit with a wave of sadness but I really hope it fades and I don't take it so personal. I am trying to ignore all the little things that remind me of my mistakes and failures.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Cycle 14: FAIL On to cycle 15
Today's BBT: 96.75
The past two days, I kept waking up in the night several times and getting hugely diverse readings. God's answer, a rested sleep and a distinct answer in the morning. Now I'm sitting here with my abdomen doing the slow aches of beginning menstrual cramps. I don't want to tell my hubby that this cycle is a bust because today is his birthday. Sigh* If only I could give him the present he really wants, something we just prayed for last night. Last month, I found out we weren't pregnant on our anniversary. Hmm, this time next cycle, hubby will be in Japan.
I'm just confused why we're not able to conceive. I'm convinced I have poor egg quality. The only saving grace is that I'm more at peace with our decision to move forward to try IVF. Since I'm starting my cycle, I can now get my blood tests done on Day 3 so they can start to put in the paperwork with my sinurance. It gives me a lot more peace with these busted cycles. Similar to how I felt in the month before I started clomid. I pray IVF isn't going giving me falso hope the way clomid did.
And I'm more at peace with thinking to myself "We can't have children." That's not too odd. There are plenty of people who can't have children. I mapped out the next cycle already and there's small blessings even there. Hubby is leaving for Japan but our fertile time should fall well before he leaves. Well, pick up the pieces and start again.
The past two days, I kept waking up in the night several times and getting hugely diverse readings. God's answer, a rested sleep and a distinct answer in the morning. Now I'm sitting here with my abdomen doing the slow aches of beginning menstrual cramps. I don't want to tell my hubby that this cycle is a bust because today is his birthday. Sigh* If only I could give him the present he really wants, something we just prayed for last night. Last month, I found out we weren't pregnant on our anniversary. Hmm, this time next cycle, hubby will be in Japan.
I'm just confused why we're not able to conceive. I'm convinced I have poor egg quality. The only saving grace is that I'm more at peace with our decision to move forward to try IVF. Since I'm starting my cycle, I can now get my blood tests done on Day 3 so they can start to put in the paperwork with my sinurance. It gives me a lot more peace with these busted cycles. Similar to how I felt in the month before I started clomid. I pray IVF isn't going giving me falso hope the way clomid did.
And I'm more at peace with thinking to myself "We can't have children." That's not too odd. There are plenty of people who can't have children. I mapped out the next cycle already and there's small blessings even there. Hubby is leaving for Japan but our fertile time should fall well before he leaves. Well, pick up the pieces and start again.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Cycle 14: 7 dpo, 97.63 No clue
Today's BBT: 97.63
I have no clue. My temp is steady but maybe it's supposed to be lower. I woke up in the middle of the night for a pee break. I have no idea what time. My BB are definitely less sore...just a little tender.
I went in for my progesterone test today...it's CD 22.
My weight is down to 180.0. I use the term down loosely...since I was at 171 at the beginning of this summer. IF depression and cycles of emotional rollercoasters have taken a toll. I went for a hour walk today. I will get to looking normal. I will.
I have no clue. My temp is steady but maybe it's supposed to be lower. I woke up in the middle of the night for a pee break. I have no idea what time. My BB are definitely less sore...just a little tender.
I went in for my progesterone test today...it's CD 22.
My weight is down to 180.0. I use the term down loosely...since I was at 171 at the beginning of this summer. IF depression and cycles of emotional rollercoasters have taken a toll. I went for a hour walk today. I will get to looking normal. I will.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Cycle 14: 6 dpo Sore BB (Natural Cycle)
Today's Basal Body Temp: 97.56
I don't know...yesterday's body temp was 97.8. That and the sore bb's showed up yesterday. I had exercise class and I had to forget the arms and just pin my chest when there was a lot of jumping or bouncing. Hope increased exponentially. I was so sure that this was the month. Also, fertility friend told me that if we conceive this cycle, my estimated due date would be early May. May has not been kind to me. Two May's ago, I had my miscarriage. This past May, I had a family tragedy. I hated May. Please give me a reason to LOVE May.
Today's body temp at 97.56 which is the norm for my post-ovulation stilted my excitement a little. I can't believe I have to endure 9 more days of this before I find out whether or not this cycle ends or continues.
The boobies are still sore. The other odd thing is that today marked the eleventh day of High fertility according to my OPK with a Peak day near the beginning. I have been looking at the sticks...the test line is like non-existent. could my stupid monitor be broken. I'm upset that I used 11 sticks just for this month. I'm not using it tomorrow. That's a third of my supply and I had just ordered a new box. Sheesh.
I emailed my doctor and asked to take a progresterone test. I should have gone in today but didn't have time. Am going to go in the morning tomorrow. I hope my doctor remembered to put the request in. One time she forgot and I have thus only tested my progresterone one time.
It was sixteen last month on a clomid cycle.
I don't know...yesterday's body temp was 97.8. That and the sore bb's showed up yesterday. I had exercise class and I had to forget the arms and just pin my chest when there was a lot of jumping or bouncing. Hope increased exponentially. I was so sure that this was the month. Also, fertility friend told me that if we conceive this cycle, my estimated due date would be early May. May has not been kind to me. Two May's ago, I had my miscarriage. This past May, I had a family tragedy. I hated May. Please give me a reason to LOVE May.
Today's body temp at 97.56 which is the norm for my post-ovulation stilted my excitement a little. I can't believe I have to endure 9 more days of this before I find out whether or not this cycle ends or continues.
The boobies are still sore. The other odd thing is that today marked the eleventh day of High fertility according to my OPK with a Peak day near the beginning. I have been looking at the sticks...the test line is like non-existent. could my stupid monitor be broken. I'm upset that I used 11 sticks just for this month. I'm not using it tomorrow. That's a third of my supply and I had just ordered a new box. Sheesh.
I emailed my doctor and asked to take a progresterone test. I should have gone in today but didn't have time. Am going to go in the morning tomorrow. I hope my doctor remembered to put the request in. One time she forgot and I have thus only tested my progresterone one time.
It was sixteen last month on a clomid cycle.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Cycle 14: 4dpo Trying to lose vacation weight
Today's BBT: 97.56
Oh, at first it was such a relief to have decided on IVF so knowing that we're moving forward. It's nice to see how my body is reacting for the first month without clomid in five months. I've also been off the midnight shift in almost 8 months so it's nice to think my body has had time to recoup and getting used to sleeping at night...every night. But, as usual, hope has just soared to enormous heights for this cycle. We went on a trip to LA and already have a name picked out for our baby conceived on our trip...and we even have the nickname already. I ovulated perfectly...my body temperatures have been consistent...I've been waking and sleeping on regular schedules. I'm cutting down on caffeine.
Some strange oddities...maybe concern...I'm wondering if my ovulator detector is broken. I usually have 2 days of high fertility, followed by 2 days of peak fertility followed by 2 days of high fertility. This time I had 3 days of high fertility, 1 day of peak fertility, and now I'm like on my fifth day of high fertility after the peak. What the heck? I tried to google it but couldn't find anything really.
I've also trying to battle my weight. THe past month, I gained alot of weight. I've gone up ten pounds since the beginning of summer. Last cycle, I just ate so much during the 2 week wait and waiting to test and just trying to get through each day of waiting. Then I tested negative and ate to make myself feel better. Then I put on five pounds on our vacation..seriously, in just one week. So, I'm trying to cut down on my soda intake...I can easily have three cokes each day. Just trying to cut it down to 1.5 to 2 is an amazing change for me. I'm down 1-2 pounds in this past week. Most of it was probably just water weight from vacation because who gains five pounds in one week and then loses two pounds in three days.
Oh, at first it was such a relief to have decided on IVF so knowing that we're moving forward. It's nice to see how my body is reacting for the first month without clomid in five months. I've also been off the midnight shift in almost 8 months so it's nice to think my body has had time to recoup and getting used to sleeping at night...every night. But, as usual, hope has just soared to enormous heights for this cycle. We went on a trip to LA and already have a name picked out for our baby conceived on our trip...and we even have the nickname already. I ovulated perfectly...my body temperatures have been consistent...I've been waking and sleeping on regular schedules. I'm cutting down on caffeine.
Some strange oddities...maybe concern...I'm wondering if my ovulator detector is broken. I usually have 2 days of high fertility, followed by 2 days of peak fertility followed by 2 days of high fertility. This time I had 3 days of high fertility, 1 day of peak fertility, and now I'm like on my fifth day of high fertility after the peak. What the heck? I tried to google it but couldn't find anything really.
I've also trying to battle my weight. THe past month, I gained alot of weight. I've gone up ten pounds since the beginning of summer. Last cycle, I just ate so much during the 2 week wait and waiting to test and just trying to get through each day of waiting. Then I tested negative and ate to make myself feel better. Then I put on five pounds on our vacation..seriously, in just one week. So, I'm trying to cut down on my soda intake...I can easily have three cokes each day. Just trying to cut it down to 1.5 to 2 is an amazing change for me. I'm down 1-2 pounds in this past week. Most of it was probably just water weight from vacation because who gains five pounds in one week and then loses two pounds in three days.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Cycle 14: CD 12 Natural Cycle (hoping for Dodger)
BBT: 96.62
Ovulation: High fertility test yesterday
I wasn't able to take a fertility pee test this morning but since it was high yesterday, I'm guessing it's high today and it will peak tomorrow. This is a natural cycle...I turned down clomid and IUI so we could move forward with applying for IVF.
IVF warm-up:
I called the doctor to get a pelvic exam and tests. The nurse said that God must be smiling on me because, amazingly, there was an opening just three days later. Someone must have canceled because the doctor didn't have an opening for a month after that. I arrived and she did some test but told me that I needed blood tests on day three of my cycle (I was on day 7). Boy I wish they told me that when I was just about to start AF. Anyways, so that will be next cycle. My husband has to have some blood tests and another semen analysis. Then the doctor can put those papers through to my health insurance to get clearance to move ahead. So, probably another two or three months.
Hoping for Dodger:
Hubby and I are in LA celebrating a slightly belated anniversary. We went to Disneyland and to watch the Dodgers' play. My hubby's favorite team. I was real curious how I would do after clomid. I'm doing perfect. According to my clear blue fertility monitor, I'm going to ovulate in a few days...right on time. I don't know why we don't get pregnant. So, we're moving ahead with IVF but really praying that it happens naturally before we have to get to that point. Since we're in fertile time, we have a really huge hope, a dream, that we're going to conceive. Our nickname for the baby will be Dodger. I just saw a sermon the other week about not dumb-ing down your dreams just because conditions look bleak. So, back to having huge dreams. Come home Dodger...we already got your cute nickname and the story to go with it.
Ovulation: High fertility test yesterday
I wasn't able to take a fertility pee test this morning but since it was high yesterday, I'm guessing it's high today and it will peak tomorrow. This is a natural cycle...I turned down clomid and IUI so we could move forward with applying for IVF.
IVF warm-up:
I called the doctor to get a pelvic exam and tests. The nurse said that God must be smiling on me because, amazingly, there was an opening just three days later. Someone must have canceled because the doctor didn't have an opening for a month after that. I arrived and she did some test but told me that I needed blood tests on day three of my cycle (I was on day 7). Boy I wish they told me that when I was just about to start AF. Anyways, so that will be next cycle. My husband has to have some blood tests and another semen analysis. Then the doctor can put those papers through to my health insurance to get clearance to move ahead. So, probably another two or three months.
Hoping for Dodger:
Hubby and I are in LA celebrating a slightly belated anniversary. We went to Disneyland and to watch the Dodgers' play. My hubby's favorite team. I was real curious how I would do after clomid. I'm doing perfect. According to my clear blue fertility monitor, I'm going to ovulate in a few days...right on time. I don't know why we don't get pregnant. So, we're moving ahead with IVF but really praying that it happens naturally before we have to get to that point. Since we're in fertile time, we have a really huge hope, a dream, that we're going to conceive. Our nickname for the baby will be Dodger. I just saw a sermon the other week about not dumb-ing down your dreams just because conditions look bleak. So, back to having huge dreams. Come home Dodger...we already got your cute nickname and the story to go with it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)