3dp5dt through 7dp5dt HPTs (Feb 16-20)

So, I thought this was so great because instead of waiting two weeks after ovulation before knowing if it worked out or not...I only had to wait 8 days after the transfer to get the final tests results. Simple...you think I could have made it.

I remembered the fact that only once have I ever seen a BFP, a positive line on a home pregnancy test. And that was four months into this over 2 year journey when I didn't know squat about fertility and infertility and abbreviations up the ying yang. So, I kicked myself for not testing right away. Before the egg retrieval, you inject yourself with HCG to mature the eggs before collection, HCG being the same hormone your body will produce when pregnant...what a HPT will look for. The shot is called a trigger shot. So, I decided I might as well take this opportunity to see what a positive test is supposed to be like. They say it can take up to 2 weeks for the trigger shot to dissipate in your body but it can disappear earlier.

(3 days past 5 day embryo transfer)
3dp5dt Tried the HPT. Nothing... just blank whiteness...a familiar sight to me. Great, I must have missed my chance. The trigger is gone and now if I don't get pregnant, I'll never get to see two lines. Waved that stick under every light possible but couldn't see a thing.

4dp5dt Walked away and almost threw it away ten minutes later when I saw the faintest line. I almost might have missed it but I saw it. I dug the previous day's stick out of the trash (it was just paper trash peeps). Now that I knew where to look, there I saw it...that faint line. It must have shown up a little faster today. Hope suddenly bloomed and took root. I spent hours googling 4dp5dt and trigger. Is this trigger? Darn, everything says it's too early and you really shouldn't see any pregnancy-induced hormones to at least 5dp5dt.

5dp5dt There's that second line...and it's darker. Still, this is way early. Every source says it's possible but rare to test positive for pregnancy this early. The line was darker and appeared within 3 minutes this time. Course, my rampant googling research found a blogger who said her trigger line seemed to disappear one day and then reappeared the next day and then disappeared again. Now, I'm just living to get to the next morning to test again. Praying praying. Please...even if this is only the trigger...please let that line still be there the next day.

6dp6dt The second line...its darker. If you put all the sticks side by side...and I do, you can see the progression. Now googling, more and more sources are saying that this is for real. Not the trigger. I think I'm pregnant. I go in for my first beta but they say that won't give me any results until my second beta test two days later.

7dp7dt two lines. One more day until I find out for real. Now, I'm gripped with an insane fear that these boxes of HPT's that I bought off Amazon might be defective. I literally had enough to test every day until the final beta. i wish I had just one more so I could do a negative control. Suddenly, I'm thinking about how foolish I would be if I showed up to my beta and I was zero. I checked the boxes and they don't expire for two more months but still...this has to be a joke.

Because I still have this ace up my sleeves, these two lines...I am a lot more confident going in for my blood tests. I'm now 60% sure that it worked. I don't know where the trigger fits in but I started testing positive early so maybe I have twinnies in there. Oh, please please please. I didn't want to tell Scott yet because I know that HPT's can give you false positives, or you can have chemical pregnancies (your body releases hormones but isn't really pregnant), or my betas may be too low or not rising fast enough meaning that the pregnancy isn't viable. I've seen it happen in too many blogs. I've been exposed to it enough that I know there's tons of hurdles...but Scott doesn't read those blogs. I feel like it's my job to protect him. I decide to take the last HPT test and if the doc delivers great beta news, I'll make a grand announcement and surprise him.

Still, we go out to dinner the night before the big day where we find out and I worry that he's worrying. I want him to keep praying but have hope...so I spill the beans. I tell him that I've been testing all week and it's been a positive. He couldn't believe I didn't tell him. And then when I told him I wanted to make a big surprise for him, he pointed out that I couldn't keep a secret and I told him over chicken and rice plate lunch.