10w0d Most shocking day ever

Symptoms: trouble sleeping (I just switched to midnights shift and having trouble adjusting to sleeping during the day), nausea (strongest in first half of my day after I wake up and subsiding for last half), total lack of appetite

This morning was our 10 week ultrasound. I had to work all night by myself and was super tired. I was so nervous but thank God, I didn't get any calls or late cases. I went home to meet Scott and he drove us to the clinic. Man, we had to wait half an hour for our appointment plus additional time since we came in early. I was so tired I ended up lying on a bench and dismally watching as everyone in the entire waiting room was ushered in and I was still stuck outside. I sent Scott to the receptionist to use "my wife has worked all night and hasn't slept yet" to get us some sympathy urgency but we still had to wait another five minutes anyway.
The ultrasound tech came out and got us and apologized for the wait. I was real stoked because she did a belly ultrasound...excellent. The room was small and the ultrasound screen was turned away from me although Scott could see it from his chair. The tech said as soon as she checked measurements and printed out the pictures, she would turn it to show me everything. She started scanning and said "Oh, there's two in there." Yes yes, we're having twins, I guess it wasn't on my chart. I was watching her face the whole time since I couldn't see anything else and thankfully, she said right away "Oh, good, they're both moving." Yah!!! She scanned for a while and said "they've both moving and I see both their heartbeats." Then she kept scanning and she was taking a long time. She kept apologizing that I couldn't see and assuring me that she would show me once she had finished everything. I told her not to worry and just do everything right. I also told her about the spotting and hoped she could find what was causing it. Scott could see and he was watching at first but I think he got bored so he stopped watching. I just lay there and watched the tech. I was having serious trouble trying to relax and not move. Trying to think about not moving just made me itch to move which made me giggle. I was having such a hard time with the giggling fits.


Then the tech got a worried, shocked look on her face. She started to lean close to the screen and she got very quiet and very intense. It just dragged on and my heart starts to sink. I thought she said both babies have good heartbeats. Something must be wrong with them. Her expression wasn't changing and I realized it had to be more serious even. Something was seriously wrong. It was an eternity before she finally broke the silence and without looking away from the screen she said


"Um, I am seeing three babies."

Scott's head whipped up so fast and he said "What?!?" I was flabbergasted. Not to offend her, but she was taking a long time with the scan so my first words were "Are you sure? Can you check again?" Ultrasounds are fuzzy black and white blurs. She was moving that wand all around, how does she know she's not counting the same baby twice.

Again, I can't see the screen so i can only watch the tech's and Scott's faces in the light from the machine. It takes a few minutes but she's showing Scott different angles and sure enough he said "Yup, you're right, there's three." Then we both started nervously laughing. I'm in complete shock.

"But we only put in two." I just kept saying that.

She says it looks like there's just two sacs which is why the previous ultrasounds probably missed the third baby, hiding behind it's identical twin in one sac. Thankfully, the tech did find a thin white line which means that the identical twins actually have a membrane separating them so they are actually in two different sacs. It was forever before i could see. she had never done triplets before so she didn't even know how to enter all that information in the machine.
She turned it to me and I could easily see the two babies. She moved the wand and I saw a white blur in the bottom of one of the sac. What? That blob? Maybe that's a yolk sac or something. Then she moved the wand and the blog got bigger and ...oh, yah, there's the heartbeat.

Three babies.
All with strong fluttering hearts ~ 163 bpm
All measuring roughly about 10w0d

The previously missed baby looks squushed in there...his sibling's feet are right on his head. Oh, I hope he/she has room and they all share. she showed me close-ups of the first two. You know what they look like. Little graham teddy bear crackers...or gummy bears. I said that out loud and the tech laughed and said she always thought so too. Three little graham teddy bears floating around in a little circle. The first and third were sleeping or not moving. But the second one she showed me, one of the identical twins...oh it was alittle jumping bean. It was so cool. It was like a teddy bear cracker waving it's cute little arm and leg buds around. I had to giggle, it was such a joyous excitement to see.

She brought the doctor in who comfirmed it. They were able to get a screen shot with all three babies and fluttering hearts in one plane. He said he sees a black area which is a pool of blood above the babies which is probably where the spotting is coming from. But he was happy to hear that the spotting seems to be slowing down which might mean the the bleeding is not new or ongoing. He did say that it is something to watch because any bleeding can increase the chance for miscarriage. He said we'll have to become good friends with the high-risk OB and we'll be getting scans around every three weeks for the entire pregnancy.
In a serious deadpan voice he said "So, that means no sky-diving, no scuba diving, no sex, no sports...." So funny when Scott's voice squeaked "Wait, what was the last one. No sex? For how long?" The doctor shot out "Oh, for the entire pregnancy. You want to avoid anything that might cause pre-term labor" and then he moved on to other stuff in the blink of an eye. Oh, poor poor Scott.


The shock:
The shock has not worn off. We are overwhelmed, flabbergasted, speechless. Scott just keeps looking at me and laughing. he'll just say one word out of nowhere. "3." This changes everything. We were just adjusting to the idea of twins. I know a lot of people with twins. twins is doable. My sister has twins and I know how much hard work that was and still is for her. I've been consumed with worry all day...I had such a rough time sleeping, i couldn't stop thinking about it. I know triplets are high risk. Pre-term labor, possible weeks in the NICU, hospital bills...how am I going to work at all? I have such a hard job with unpredictable and sometimes very long hours. Scott's job has childcare but I thought it might be pushing the question to have twin babies in there. Triplets? I don't think that's going to fly? How can I possibly go back to work? We can't afford for me not to. But how are we going to take care of them? I don't want us to drive two large cars...the expense and the gas. But I have a small size sedan. I don't think it can even fit three car seats in the back. We can't ask just anyone to babysit so we can go out for a movie or date night. Are we going to be homebound for the first year? I know it's common to have to go on bedrest during the third trimester. I coudn't even make it two days when we had the IVF. I was miserable. Does this mean my nausea may not go away by next weeks since I have three babies, not one or two?

I also have this fear that we caused this. Did I fight too hard to have children with the IVF? I mean, nothing else worked or even came close? Was the IVF my choice and not God's? Is this happening because I wasn't aligned with what God was trying to tell us? That's my irrational fear. although I can't believe that God punishes by giving you more children. If I believe that our children are a blessing from God, then I can't believe he's punishing him for being selfish. I mean, identical twins!!! He caused for one to become two!!! I also know that it's going to become real obvious that we used fertility treatment since we went from having no babies to having triplets. I hope I don't get quizzed by random people or judged.

I have to believe that God gave us three children, and he will give us the means to provide and take care of these three children. I don't know how. So, I'll have to depend completely on him!!!