Cycle Day 4 of Month Forever

This is my month. I'm going to fake positivity until I am positivity.

Sorry for the absence but the blogging helps me get through the excruciating hours of the last days of the cycle...the two week wait that lasts two years. The last two days, my temp drop was complicated by the fact that my basal body temperature seemed to be on some sort of fritz. I have two older thermometers that I used as backup but they would give two different readings.

It finally started. And because I had been eating myself through the stress and figuring, if I'm pregnant, I will gain weight anyways...I gained two pounds.

I called my doctor got get checked to being my third cycle of clomid. They like you to take it on day 3 to 7 of your cycle, so I had to get checked out in the first three days. Clomid can increase your chances of ovarian cysts.

She said if I didn't get pregnant this round, I could get an HSG. A test where they inject dye into your uterus and fallopian tubes and use an X-ray to check for any blockages. I was so excited at the idea of the test that she said I could schedule it for this month. So this month is a big month for me.

Next week Tuesday, I have the HSG and then I have an exam on Thursday because my last pap smear showed some abnormalities. This is the month. Most people I saw online got pregnant on the third month. I need to have hope. But I do get tired of hope because it hurts more when it doesn't come true. I still have a little fight left.

This is the month. I will have a baby this February. I think I'm due for a boy, my sister has five girls. He will be our valentines.