Yesterday 14 dpo...woke up with a high temp (97.99) (I had only slept for about 3.5 hrs. but they say you only need 3 uninterrupted hours)...and my boobs were so sore. Both of them. I did think that was strange because that huge increase would probably be more indicative of AF coming than early pregnancy since it's too early and too sudden. But I don't consistently have sore boobs...I have not had them the past three months. Took a pee stick test in the middle of the day, negative. But I'm still hopeful. Absolutely no AF...I think this is it. I can't believe it. I'm days past my normal luteal phase. I already feel different...walking in sort of unbelief.
My high did crash a little when I did more online research (damn google). I read that for some people the clomid extended their luteal phase each cycle more and more and it can create pre-menstrual symptoms that you didn't have before. I hadn't meant to pee on a stick before this morning. I had to work a wedding yesterday and I really didn't want to go all depressed...better to let hope linger. Even with the BFN, I still cling to the hope. I have read online accounts of moms who tested every day and got negative after negative before finally getting a positive late in the game.
This morning 15 dpo...basal body temp 97.22 boobs...completely normal and pain-free
I only slept like four hours and I woke up. I don't know why...I was just wide awake. Still no AF but I brought tampons to work just in case. Strangely, I'm not sad....maybe it's to come. I really had such a great weekend, had a wedding that I worked at (as the wedding photographer) and as a guest (I love the couple and the family).
Now I'm more pondering. Yesterday really showed me how far my photography has come. I've always been really blessed. For some reason, God really blessed me at every point in my life. I know it so I try to make the most of everything and work my hardest. I was a nerd...school was easy for me...I didn't even have to really try. I was great at sports and picked up new skills quickly. Again, I never really mastered anything but was all-around good and made all-star teams for several sports. I sing...I play the guitar...I used to have a knack with kids and babies (I don't know anymore)...and now my photography is taking off and I'm making it to a business. But this, this is the first thing that I can't do...and it's the one thing I really cared about doing.
Especially since my husband got a clean bill of health and his fertility analysis was like an A+. It means...well, it's just me then. I'm the reason we can't do it. I've never encountered this before and I'm not real sure how I'm supposed to walk through this.
I'll see you tomorrow. Here's praying that AF stays away. Stay away....come back next year.
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