12 weeks 0 days It's not working

Gestational Age: 12w0d
Pregnancy Weight: 205.6 (I am about 30 lb heavier than this stage in the first pregnancy)
Symptoms: Moderate but persistent nausea from morning to night, gagging, having to walk slowly, hate car rides, no motivation,
Food aversions: anything saucy or moist, I crave dairy but it does not sit well with me

Baby is: about 2 inches long and weighs in at 0.5 oz. She's developing reflexes like opening and closing her hand, curling her toes and making sucking movements with her mouth.

I am so close but I feel like I'm losing steam. So time is slowing down and I'm rapidly running out of motivation and hope. I have about two minutes from the time I wake up until I feel the nausea start to rise through my groggy fog. And there it rumbles with me until about ten minutes after I fall asleep. I have the feeling that my medicine is not working for me. I feel no different after taking it but I take it anyway, all four pills because if it is working, then I don't want to experience how bad it is when I don't take it.

This past Monday I had a period of normalcy. I had a photo shoot in the morning and met Scott for lunch. I of course didn't feel like food so I suggested shave ice but then realized that there were hunger pangs mixed in with the nausea. So we ate Hawaiian food, beef stew and lau lau. And I ate and ate and it tasted good. I felt great afterward. I was so happy. Maybe this was the turn around. Really, this week, I feel much better than I did a week and half ago. But it's still nausea. After Monday's experience, I keep trying to recreate that great feeling. Forcing myself to eat, hoping to get the same response. It's not been successful. It's depressing. I want to know at what point I start to feel better. But I know this week on a whole has been much better than last week. I'm not happy but I'm able to do work. Yes, I'd much rather lie in bed all day but I can get myself to move around and do stuff. I have noticed that I feel better on weekends...I really do think it's the mentality of being able to relax that helps.

We went to see our specialist on Tuesday for a first screening, the dreaded NT test. I was so anxious but I saw the tech type in NT=1.0. Oh, I know that's good!!! So, when the doctor came in, he told me what I already suspected. Baby is looking normal...boring is the word he used. Of course, we'll do a more thorough check with the cardiologist at 20 weeks but we passed one milestone. And yes, we know it's super early but we asked for a look at the crotch and in his medical best opinion, giving it about a 90% chance...he declared we are having an....

another girl!

ha ha ha, we know the baby is small but I'm going to assume that he's right and maybe we'll just get another surprise at the next visit. he was right the last time=)

Ha ha, I can't believe another girl. Oh, boy, I hope we can come up with a girl name that we both like. That's so difficult for us.

We're not going as public as the first time with facebook and blogs. But we are starting to tell people around us. I called my siblings after the doctor said everything looks good with her heart. My sisters are so excited...the pregnant one cried. My brother kind of took it in an odd fashion, sounded like something else was bothering him but I don't know what. The big thing was I told my work place. I've only been there half a year so I don't think they're that happy but they're rolling with it. Phew, I was dreading that part.

I hit 12 weeks which is a big milestone. Now, if I can just hit 14 weeks and then 16 weeks, I know I'm going to see dramatic improvement in the nausea. I just wish the end of nausea would get her a ton bit faster.