23 weeks 1 day We're staying here

Gestational Age: 23 w 1 d
Weight: 192.7 lb, but that was yesterday and I've been eating tons more so it should be way higher
Symptoms: belly button is starting to get a lip on the top, I think I'm getting an outie. feet sore.
Prayer Requests: Gizmo's heart. Astro keeps growing and keeping up.

We really prayed for a direction. Our doctor was presenting our case to a group of doctors from San Diego to see if there was a good chance that surgery could be an option for Gizmo if she makes it to delivery. Our doc called us on Friday. I chickened out and didn't want to be the recipient. So I made the doc call Scott and Scott told me in person. The doctors pretty much said that it could be possible but they wouldn't recommend it as an option to consider. She would be too small as a preemie and the risks were high. They recommended we deliver here and offer comfort care. The reassuring news was that a number of them seemed to think that she could make it to delivery.

It was a relief to hear, just a clear direction. We know where we are going and now we can just pray into it. Being in chaos was just emotional torture. As the relief wore off, it started to get more real and I started crying. Just randomly...driving home, in the bathroom. I woke up in the middle of the night and just thought about having to say good-bye to her and I started crying. Now we know what to prepare for but there's no way we'll ever be fully prepared for it. I so can't wait to meet her and I'm glad they think we have a good chance to. I'll be able to hold her and kiss her. But it will also make it a lot harder to say goodbye. Now that I know I'm most likely going to lose one baby, I cannot lose two babies. That's all I kept thinking about all weekend.

We followed up with our neonatal specialist today to see how the babies were doing. He was very positive. Said that the identicals seem to be sharing equally and that we just keep going forward. He also gave me some stern warnings about taking it easy and eating more. According to my weekly development book, our babies are going to be just gaining weight and fat stores from now until the end...so I have to. We want old, fattie babies.