8w0d pregnant and miserable

Pregnancy= 8 weeks exactly

Weight: 180.2 lb (I've lost 4 pounds in less than two weeks)

Symptoms: No energy, extreme nausea, depression

Aversions: all food



I've decided to make the title of today's post real and honest. I am so blessed. This is my dream, I am so grateful for this answer to so many of our prayers. I wouldn't give this up for the world. But I'm miserable every day, all day long. The nausea is getting worse and now there's little relief from it. I haven't thrown up yet, I just have that taste in my mouth and the urge nonstop. I feel sick all the time. I'm literally sitting here at work breathing slowly trying to keep my stomach contents down. I've tried every trick. I'm sitting here with sea bands (nausea acupressure wristbands) on, I've tried small meals, crackers, water. There's no difference. I feel sick when I haven't eaten. I feel sick when I do eat. Basically I force myself to eat because I know it necessary for my body. But I feel like I'm punishing myself when I eat, it's that miserable an experience. Still I've dropped 4 pounds in less than two weeks. I'm not concerned, I've read that's pretty normal. I actually do wish I threw up because maybe there's a chance there might be some relief.



My goal is to survive the next two weeks. I read somewhere that the hormones that aggravate the stomach should peak by week ten and you should feel some relief by week 12. So, if I can get through the next two weeks, then that should be the worst of it. I googled pregnant and miserable and found this blog with all these women sharing their experience. It was so wonderful. I'm not sharing that I'm pregnant with hardly anyone until we're through our first trimester. But it also means, I can't talk to people who have kids and get their advice and encouragment through this rough time. and since all the people I know didn't announce their pregnancies until the second trimester, I never really knew what they went through. We were already moving on to baby gender and possible names. and there's such a guilt associated with this. I thought you were supposed to love pregnancy. I hated feeling normal, I wanted to feel like this was real. Well, it's real, and um, now I want to feel normal. Be pregnant but feel normal. It feels like I have the stomach flu except this isn't going to get better in a few days.



Last week, I had a bit of a scare. I had to work overtime and was on my feet for hours and walking around carrying stuff. I started to get a pain below my belly button when I walked. The next day, i still had the same pain. It felt like I pulled a muscle when I walked. I called in sick and went to the doctor. I only had the sensation sometimes when I walked but not all the time. They couldn't figure it out but told me to put myself in bed for the next two days. They also said to tell my bosses at work and that I shouldn't work overtime anymore. I told my big boss today. I felt really weird telling him. I just blurted it out. I said I just wanted to be able to ask for help on big cases and I would break up my backpack (holds equipment for our job) into smaller bags.



Lord, I just pray that these next two weeks pass quickly. That my next ultrasound shows that our babies are healthy and growing right on target. And that my body is able to adjust to the hormones and start to feel healthy and normal again. Please, Lord.