7w0d Ultrasound and yes, symptoms

So, last week, week 6 of pregnancy was pathetically long and slow as I awaited my first ultrasound. I didn't feel pregnant, I don't feel different. I felt so healthy and strong that I prayed to God to give me confirmation, morning sickness, tender BB...just something to tide me over until the ultrasound. Although if I saw a heartbeat at the ultrasound, then I would take that prayer back because that would be my confirmation and I would love to be that rare few who barely feel any symptoms during pregnancy.



The past few days 6w4d on, I started to feel slightly queasy. So, much, that I felt like I was going mental and creating symptoms. This past weekend was my days off and I just lay in bed all day. It wasn't that I was sleepy or had to take naps (although I did a few times), it was just that I felt like I had no energy. Sitting up or walking around the house just tired me out immediately. My dreams of cleaning our dirty dirty house went down the drain and I wasted four hours sweeping broken up by lying down and watching tv. I can't figure out if I'm just being real lazy.



And I do feel queasy but if I think of something else, i can distract myself and i don't notice it until my mind drifts back to it. The symptoms are there but so mild that I could be imagining it or just taking everyday tiredness and making it into a mountain. I hope the ultrasound reveals I'm really pregnant so I can not feel completely mental.



This morning, Scott and I went to the first ultrasound. Scott is soo good, he woke up extra early and was doing his devotions. Granted, I feel sick and tired, but I had this thought, I hope his faith gets us brownie points.



The nurse at the IVF clinic who loves Scott practically giggled when she saw him in the hallway as we walked to our exam room. She hugged him and she hugged me too, but I think I was the afterthought.



The doctor came in and sat down and began the exam. He had the ultrasound machine facing him so we couldn't see and I saw him just staring at the screen, and he was clicking some button and I thought....OMG, he can't even find a sac. It's empty. I was already starting to cry, not because I was that certain it was bad, but just because the emotions of the moment were so overwhelming. I realized how critical the next few minutes were going to be in our lives.



Then I heard the nurse say "That's a positive, right, doctor?" And I saw him nod. Oh, the relief. He turned the machine to us and I saw two circles. My thorough education at google medical school, I realized that there were two sacs. Oh, I had thought we might have had two begin but one didn't make it which would explain why my HCG level went from above to just normal for a single pregnancy. He showed me the right and showed us the beautiful flicker of the heartbeat. He's so experienced at this. Tell me the good news, and then break it to us gently that we had a second one but it didn't make it. Then, he moves the scan to the second circle and says "here's the second pregnancy and right there..." and I saw another flickr.



Two!!! Two babies. It was awesome. Scott leaned forward and we both were so shocked...we're having two. I said "really? I thought we were just having one...my hcg levels were not high enough for two." And the nurse nodded and said "yah, you're right. You're absolutely right." Scott had his videocamera so he taped the screen for a couple seconds although they printed out pictures anyway. Both babies are measuring 6w6d, perfect.



It's awesome, it's like we just found out we're pregnant. This is the joy, that "aha" moment that we didn't really have when we found out we're pregnant. We kept looking at our ultrasound pictures...seeing two little blobs.



So, now we get to use our second fake name. Baby Joash and Baby Manassah. That will be how we refer to them until they're born and we choose real names. Baby J and Baby M.



Now, I know I'm not being mental. I realize that I'm beyond fatigued and my queasiness lasts all day. When I wake up, I feel absolutely fine. Then about two hours later, the queasiness settles in and lasts all day. I think there's maybe two hours worth of time that I feel absolutely fine. Haven't figured out how to combat it. It's just queasiness, moderate nausea. I never feel like I have to run to the bathroom. I do avoid looking at strong foods, tuna, or mayonaise. But I always disliked those foods.



Fatigue is a different story. I sleep tons but I still feel like I'm sick, that feeling of absolutely no energy. I called in sick today. I don't know how I'm going to make it for another five weeks in secrecy. How am I going to work? I can't even function at home. Hopefully, now that God has given me wonderful confirmation, I can do without the fatigue now. That's my prayer!!