Morning body temp: 97.23
This morning is the roughest I've had. I was really praying last night. If my temp stayed high, I was planning on testing on Tuesday (tomorrow), also when I'm expecting AF...and Tuesday (tomorrow) is our 2 year anniversary. I just thought this would be the most amazing time...I couldn't ask for a better day...even better than getting pregnant on my birthday. Also, our close friends just tested positive a week ago so if we tested positive now...our babies would just be a few days apart. I couldn't help but get so excited especially with my temps staying rock solid.
last night, I finally slept real well (we had the air con on and I was all snuggled up)...and my morning temp...97.23 (yesterday was 97.8). I already got that sinking feeling because I was watching the numbers climb and they were already going slow in the upper 96. I realized that I would be lucky to get out of the 96 degree range.
I seriously cried a lot...and got angry. I got angry at God. I feel like I'm being punished or tested. If it is neither of the above, then I'm suffering through this for no real reason. I've tried so hard this past year and half to stay positive and stay faithful and a I get so angry when I feel like it has got me nowhere. The hubby came in and I was crying and just telling me how mad I was. He then tried to make me feel better by telling me that I'm blessed and that I should be happy. Which of course made me feel worse and I got so mad, I stormed out of the house and drove around the nearest botanical garden to calm down.
It took a while but watching "Ruby" kind of inspired me again to get up and keep moving on. I'm scared to have to do IVF especially since I've been excited to try things like clomid and IUIs and they didn't bring us success. I'd really be happy to NOT have to resort to IVF, so I'm praying that God rescues me.
Guessing that tomorrow is AF day...unless she's tardy and Wednesday. Already ordered a new batch of fertility monitor test sticks...just resorting myself back to the grind. Meeting with someone tomorrow who has gone through this and is a strong christian woman. I don't know what I'm going to ask but I'm really looking forward to it.
Showing posts with label infertility. Show all posts
Showing posts with label infertility. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Cycle 12: 7 dpiui
So I'm at day seven after my first IUI.
I feel hopeless and I'm only halfway through the two weeks waiting. googled "7 dpiui" and the two blogs that came up were posts that were two years ago. Both are pregnant now...two years after the IUI. Then I read that the success rate of IUI are only 10-20% so getting pregnant on your first IUI is really rare.
What utterly depressing research. My thermometer is broken so I can't even track my basal body temperature. I'm really praying that this is IT...this is the cycle...so I don't have to try to get a good BBT thermometer for another cycle...the shipping takes too long and costs money. I think I'll try the local store tonight and check if they have.
At least my cold seems to be gone. All the sleep kept me so rested that I stayed up til 5 am and I had to wake up at 8 am. Still feeling really awake, no doubt having slept for like sixteen hours yesterday. Only thing left is my sore throat.
I went to the blood lab today to get my progesterone checked. They were confused since my gyno never put in an order and she was out for the day. so I sat there for 30 minutes trying to fight the urge to cough (remnants of my cold) until they told me they would try to get ahold of her tomorrow and call me to come in. I didn't mind. I had a good book and love to read.
I feel hopeless and I'm only halfway through the two weeks waiting. googled "7 dpiui" and the two blogs that came up were posts that were two years ago. Both are pregnant now...two years after the IUI. Then I read that the success rate of IUI are only 10-20% so getting pregnant on your first IUI is really rare.
What utterly depressing research. My thermometer is broken so I can't even track my basal body temperature. I'm really praying that this is IT...this is the cycle...so I don't have to try to get a good BBT thermometer for another cycle...the shipping takes too long and costs money. I think I'll try the local store tonight and check if they have.
At least my cold seems to be gone. All the sleep kept me so rested that I stayed up til 5 am and I had to wake up at 8 am. Still feeling really awake, no doubt having slept for like sixteen hours yesterday. Only thing left is my sore throat.
I went to the blood lab today to get my progesterone checked. They were confused since my gyno never put in an order and she was out for the day. so I sat there for 30 minutes trying to fight the urge to cough (remnants of my cold) until they told me they would try to get ahold of her tomorrow and call me to come in. I didn't mind. I had a good book and love to read.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Cycle Day 4 of Month Forever
This is my month. I'm going to fake positivity until I am positivity.
Sorry for the absence but the blogging helps me get through the excruciating hours of the last days of the cycle...the two week wait that lasts two years. The last two days, my temp drop was complicated by the fact that my basal body temperature seemed to be on some sort of fritz. I have two older thermometers that I used as backup but they would give two different readings.
It finally started. And because I had been eating myself through the stress and figuring, if I'm pregnant, I will gain weight anyways...I gained two pounds.
I called my doctor got get checked to being my third cycle of clomid. They like you to take it on day 3 to 7 of your cycle, so I had to get checked out in the first three days. Clomid can increase your chances of ovarian cysts.
She said if I didn't get pregnant this round, I could get an HSG. A test where they inject dye into your uterus and fallopian tubes and use an X-ray to check for any blockages. I was so excited at the idea of the test that she said I could schedule it for this month. So this month is a big month for me.
Next week Tuesday, I have the HSG and then I have an exam on Thursday because my last pap smear showed some abnormalities. This is the month. Most people I saw online got pregnant on the third month. I need to have hope. But I do get tired of hope because it hurts more when it doesn't come true. I still have a little fight left.
This is the month. I will have a baby this February. I think I'm due for a boy, my sister has five girls. He will be our valentines.
Sorry for the absence but the blogging helps me get through the excruciating hours of the last days of the cycle...the two week wait that lasts two years. The last two days, my temp drop was complicated by the fact that my basal body temperature seemed to be on some sort of fritz. I have two older thermometers that I used as backup but they would give two different readings.
It finally started. And because I had been eating myself through the stress and figuring, if I'm pregnant, I will gain weight anyways...I gained two pounds.
I called my doctor got get checked to being my third cycle of clomid. They like you to take it on day 3 to 7 of your cycle, so I had to get checked out in the first three days. Clomid can increase your chances of ovarian cysts.
She said if I didn't get pregnant this round, I could get an HSG. A test where they inject dye into your uterus and fallopian tubes and use an X-ray to check for any blockages. I was so excited at the idea of the test that she said I could schedule it for this month. So this month is a big month for me.
Next week Tuesday, I have the HSG and then I have an exam on Thursday because my last pap smear showed some abnormalities. This is the month. Most people I saw online got pregnant on the third month. I need to have hope. But I do get tired of hope because it hurts more when it doesn't come true. I still have a little fight left.
This is the month. I will have a baby this February. I think I'm due for a boy, my sister has five girls. He will be our valentines.
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