Gestation: 17 weeks 0 days
Weight: I weighed in on our scale today at 181.7 lb. But I was kind of tilting to see the number and my docs scale had me heavier last week. Of course, they weigh me at the end of my day and I weigh myself at the beginning when I just wake up.
Appearance: Big boobs (for me)....belly is big. Kind of freaks me out when I look at it. No stretch marks although I think I see two on my boobs. Keep forgetting to get that cream from my sister although I'm convinced I'm doomed by genetics.
Symptoms: Mild bouts of nausea. Food tastes strange to me. I'm struggling to find food I can eat because some of my consistent faves have distinctly strange tastes to me. Big turn-off. I'm peeing a lot...my bladder already feels like something is pressing on it. Arthritis of the hips, when I am lying down for a while, it hurts to turn over or get up and start walking. And still a big of motion sickness if I walk too fast. And I'm waddling already.
Countdown: 11 weeks to viability. (Babies have a 95% survival rate at 28 weeks). Actually since Baby A is almost a week behind, let's say 12 weeks to viability.
So. I haven't blogged in two weeks. Last week was crazy. The hubby was gone for almost two weeks, I was having trouble sleeping and I ended up getting sick. At first, the cold didn't seem too bad and I was so thankful since I can't take medicine...but the cold just wouldn't go away and every day was just a struggle. Then my sister had a crazy clot and I had to take her to the hospital. I had to burn a sick day (which we know is so precious at this point) because of the lack of sleep and sickness. Thank God, my sister is home and she seems to be slowly regaining her coordination back. And Scott is home (well, for a week) before he leaves for yet another stupid trip. Pbbbt. I'm still coughing occasionally but I'm finally regaining use of both nostrils. Amen.
My stomach has definitely swelled and everything just feels tight. I had an episode where I think my uterus was contracting a lot...I had to start counting. I had 2 in the span of 20 minutes and the next forty minutes were the longest ever...since I read that you have to go to the hospital immediately if you get 4 contractions in an hour, even if they don't hurt. I read that online. I think a lot of the discomfort is just from everything expanding so quickly, my stomach muscles feel so stretched. At first, I was scared to stretch it out. I haven't had any contractions in a few days so I'm gingerly stretching.
Today was our ultrasound with the specialist. Dr. O. The first thing out of his mouth was "Have you been leaking amniotic fluid?" I immediately said "Oh, I might be, I noticed a lot of discharge this past week but I thought it was incontinence." So embarrasing, but I've always had a problem with my bladder and some leakage when I exercise or just out of nowhere. At work, I noticed my underwear had these huge wet spots and it was way more than ever. I figured, my bladder was just getting weaker. He asked if I wear a pad, and I said ,No, I just have wet underwear. So, it seems that the new issue (there's always something different at each visit) is that the amniotic levels for the identicals are lower. Not dangerously low, but lower. So, new thing to pray about. Today I felt pretty good because I was dry and hopefully it has passed, but just now a trip to the bathroom has revealed another wet spot. Please, Lord, no more. Keep it all in. I took a quad screen test last week but my doc laughed and said that it's invalid for triplets. Oh, boy, I have a big fat bruise on my arm from the blood draw for nothing then.
Now for the good news. The triplets are all growing steadily, even small little baby A.
Baby A: (smallest identical twin)
16 w 3 d (so four days behind gestational age)
5 oz
everything looks good so far
Baby B: (biggest identical twin)
17 w 2 d (2 days ahead)
7 oz (ooh fattie)
everything also looks really good
Baby C: (fraternal twin)
17 w 2 d (2 days ahead)
6 oz (doc says that Baby B and Baby C are pretty much the same size)
she's our star. lots of amniotic fluid. saw her moving around. lots of room and everything looks really great.
the identical twins were squished again as they are bigger and they have lost some amniotic fluid. I'm going to have to go in every two weeks now especially since we have to monitor their amniotic levels. That's fine with me. Three weeks is just too long for me to go without seeing that they're okay. i still get nervous when he starts scanning. I wish he could just verify that their heart are beating and they're alive. I guess he doesn't know that I worry about that and I may have to get over my pride and just ask him to do that for me. The great great news. Baby A is still chugging along, still a week behind the other two but the gap isn't growing so that seems to indicate that her growth is steady. Their bladders and blood flow are good so no indication of TTTS (twin to twin transfusion yet). Woo. Best news, he tried to find that growth on the bottom of Baby A's spine and he couldn't even find it. True, Baby B's big head kept getting in the way but he tried and tried. At the end, he said he saw a glimpse of something but it was so tiny that he thinks it was probably a skin tag. Hallelujah!!! We'll keep praying that the growth is completely gone and never comes back.
And he confirmed...all girls. hee hee. Scott and I just shake our head. He showed us the crotch shots and even I could see there's no peepees anywhere. I'm getting a little better at recognizing things on the ultrasound, plus, they're a little bigger so things are much more defined.
I'm officially halfway through and today's visit...seriously the best I've felt about this pregnancy. Scott and I agreed that this was the best news visit we've had the whole time. I hope it continues this trend but I'll enjoy the moment now no matter what. It's starting to feel a little more real. I'm still shocked each time I go in and they're all still alive and they're all still growing. I'm starting to gain confidence that come this fall, we're going to have three little girls in our arms. So, I brought up the pains and aches because I've been wondering about the babies moving. Apparently, you can feel it as early as 16 weeks but most newbies can't recognize it and won't know it until 18-20 weeks when it becomes to obvious to ignore. Stupid websites refer to it as a feeling of gas bubbles or butterflies. Um, only time I feel gas bubbles is when I have painful doubled over cramps. And I can't for the life of me recall what it feels to have butterflies. I do feel occasional swishes but I'm telling you, my abdomen is a field of strange new feelings. So, I'm just being patient because it's only a few more weeks and then there will be no question.
Praises Recap:
Babies alive
Babies healthy
Baby A keeping up
Baby A lost that weird spinal thing
Baby B showing all normal measurements despite that high nuchal fold
Prayer Request:
No more amniotic loss
Keep growing, we go back in two weeks
That spinal thing be gone FOREVER
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
15w1d Prayers needed
Timeline: 15w1d
Weight: 179 lb (6 lb down from pre-pregnancy weight)
Symptoms: Weird arthritis of the hips, spider veins in the BB, insomnia, motion sickness.
When I start to walk after lying down or sleeping, I'm an old woman. Weird pains and aches in the hips and joints. Must be those hormones causing everything to relax. I actually think I'm more flexible. I hate my job and switching sleep schedules...I've been sleeping 4-6 hours every day and then maybe taking an hour nap on the cold, hard floor in my office at work. I'm exhausted. I'm so tired I feel sick, so I've been gagging whenever I start to move. Walking, driving. Last night, I was trying to drive to get food and I realized that I was going to throw up. I was at an intersection and stuck at a red light. I gagged and swallowed and drove to McDonalds where I had to pull into a stall, lean out the door, and vomit water and my zofran pill all over the parking lot. Oh, goodness. Thank god, Scott has napkins in his glove compartment.
Yesterday was my 15w ultrasound with the specialist. I couldn't believe it but the appointment coincided with Scott having to be at the airport to leave for a work trip. I was so bummed that he couldn't be with me, he was very bummed as well. I got my older sis to come with me and we promised to text him before he got on the plane. We've really been hoping and praying that we get some good news this time around, every time, the doctor seems to just say "only thing we can do is wait and watch." I want him to say, yes, this looks promising. Just once.
Baby A
measuring 14w3d (4 days behind gestationally)
weighs 3 oz
Baby B
measuring 15w5d (5 days ahead gestationally)
weighs 5 oz (!!!!)
They really are right on top of each other so the doc was having a wild time trying to zero in on each one to get measurements of the head, brain, heart, and bones. He kept muttering "your children are being very difficult." Wow, to hear "your children" is mind-blowing. My sister and I both pestered him with "Hey, if you can see the gender, we would LOVE to know." the babies looked to squished and it was a hard angle but he finally said "I have a feeling these identicals are girls." YAH!!! we were hoping they were girls. I asked "What do mean, you have a feeling? Like you feel it in your heart." He said "No, I just don't see anything sticking out down there."
Cassan texted Scott that they were girls and healthy right before he got on the plane.
Then we moved on to the fraternal twin
Baby C
15w2d (2 days ahead gestationally)
4 oz
Baby C looks great. And then the doc said "Hmmm, I think this one is also a girl." My sister just started laughing. My sister with the five girls. My sister who I teased endlessly when she was pregnant with fraternal twins only to find out that they were both girls. WHAT!!! 3 girls. I don't even have one girl name that I like, now I have to come up with three. I think girls are so much harder to name than boys. Well, everyone we know has girls and we've already got tons of baby girl clothing hand-me-downs. I did say "The doc can be wrong." Sometimes things hide themselves...but I have the feeling we're having girls.
He went back to the identicals...he said their bladders and amniotic fluid look good. That's a relief, I know those are big indicators of Twin to Twin Trans.fusion. But then he was scanning and we all saw something. He was looking at baby A, the smallest baby, and you could the skeleton and ribs. And there was something waving at the tip of the spine. I thought it was at the top near the head but the doc told me later that I was backwards and it was at the tail end. But it was something just waving away. What was that? Is that a hand? What the heck? The doc tried zooming in but he said the baby was too small to get a decent enough look. So, he said "well, it can be a number of things." I asked "Like?" He brought up two options
Spin.al bif.ida= where the spinal column doesn't close properly. He says that the location is good, if it was further up the spine, it would be more harmful. Where it is now, the baby has a good chance of being able to walk normally.
A tumor. As if I couldn't hear anything worse than the first option. I think the doc sensed it, because his nurse jumped in and said that it was more common than you know...that they just had a baby last week with a tumor. My sister says that she thinks here husband had to have one removed. I asked what this meant. The doc says that it would just have to be removed once the baby was born.
He admitted that our triplets are having an above average number of complications, he brought up Baby B's thick neck measurement last time and now this abnormality on Baby A's spine...the huge discrepency in size. I asked him what our odds were and he said that you don't count on odds. He said because the size difference has been from so early on, it's more serious than if it started to develop later in development. Sigh. My sister was so positive, she seemed totally sure that everything is going to be fine. I'm starting to worry if I'm coming home with three babies and what that life will be like.
The hardest part was having to wait all night while Scott was on the plane so I could update him when he finally called. The last thing he heard was that it was girls and that they were healthy. I hated having to tell him yet another development. We're only at 15 weeks, we have a whole other half of pregnancy to go. He's such a rock, he just takes it in stride. Somehow, I feel like this is my fault. It's half of my DNA, they're in my body. I still think that as much as Scott really wanted kids, I wanted them more. I got us to where we are today, going through IVF, choosing to put in 2 embryos and not just one. I can't help but feel responsible.
We go back in two weeks, Scott will be back by then, which is a blessing. I miss him so much and it's a tough time. I really wish he was here.
Weight: 179 lb (6 lb down from pre-pregnancy weight)
Symptoms: Weird arthritis of the hips, spider veins in the BB, insomnia, motion sickness.
When I start to walk after lying down or sleeping, I'm an old woman. Weird pains and aches in the hips and joints. Must be those hormones causing everything to relax. I actually think I'm more flexible. I hate my job and switching sleep schedules...I've been sleeping 4-6 hours every day and then maybe taking an hour nap on the cold, hard floor in my office at work. I'm exhausted. I'm so tired I feel sick, so I've been gagging whenever I start to move. Walking, driving. Last night, I was trying to drive to get food and I realized that I was going to throw up. I was at an intersection and stuck at a red light. I gagged and swallowed and drove to McDonalds where I had to pull into a stall, lean out the door, and vomit water and my zofran pill all over the parking lot. Oh, goodness. Thank god, Scott has napkins in his glove compartment.
Yesterday was my 15w ultrasound with the specialist. I couldn't believe it but the appointment coincided with Scott having to be at the airport to leave for a work trip. I was so bummed that he couldn't be with me, he was very bummed as well. I got my older sis to come with me and we promised to text him before he got on the plane. We've really been hoping and praying that we get some good news this time around, every time, the doctor seems to just say "only thing we can do is wait and watch." I want him to say, yes, this looks promising. Just once.
Baby A
measuring 14w3d (4 days behind gestationally)
weighs 3 oz
Baby B
measuring 15w5d (5 days ahead gestationally)
weighs 5 oz (!!!!)
They really are right on top of each other so the doc was having a wild time trying to zero in on each one to get measurements of the head, brain, heart, and bones. He kept muttering "your children are being very difficult." Wow, to hear "your children" is mind-blowing. My sister and I both pestered him with "Hey, if you can see the gender, we would LOVE to know." the babies looked to squished and it was a hard angle but he finally said "I have a feeling these identicals are girls." YAH!!! we were hoping they were girls. I asked "What do mean, you have a feeling? Like you feel it in your heart." He said "No, I just don't see anything sticking out down there."
Cassan texted Scott that they were girls and healthy right before he got on the plane.
Then we moved on to the fraternal twin
Baby C
15w2d (2 days ahead gestationally)
4 oz
Baby C looks great. And then the doc said "Hmmm, I think this one is also a girl." My sister just started laughing. My sister with the five girls. My sister who I teased endlessly when she was pregnant with fraternal twins only to find out that they were both girls. WHAT!!! 3 girls. I don't even have one girl name that I like, now I have to come up with three. I think girls are so much harder to name than boys. Well, everyone we know has girls and we've already got tons of baby girl clothing hand-me-downs. I did say "The doc can be wrong." Sometimes things hide themselves...but I have the feeling we're having girls.
He went back to the identicals...he said their bladders and amniotic fluid look good. That's a relief, I know those are big indicators of Twin to Twin Trans.fusion. But then he was scanning and we all saw something. He was looking at baby A, the smallest baby, and you could the skeleton and ribs. And there was something waving at the tip of the spine. I thought it was at the top near the head but the doc told me later that I was backwards and it was at the tail end. But it was something just waving away. What was that? Is that a hand? What the heck? The doc tried zooming in but he said the baby was too small to get a decent enough look. So, he said "well, it can be a number of things." I asked "Like?" He brought up two options
Spin.al bif.ida= where the spinal column doesn't close properly. He says that the location is good, if it was further up the spine, it would be more harmful. Where it is now, the baby has a good chance of being able to walk normally.
A tumor. As if I couldn't hear anything worse than the first option. I think the doc sensed it, because his nurse jumped in and said that it was more common than you know...that they just had a baby last week with a tumor. My sister says that she thinks here husband had to have one removed. I asked what this meant. The doc says that it would just have to be removed once the baby was born.
He admitted that our triplets are having an above average number of complications, he brought up Baby B's thick neck measurement last time and now this abnormality on Baby A's spine...the huge discrepency in size. I asked him what our odds were and he said that you don't count on odds. He said because the size difference has been from so early on, it's more serious than if it started to develop later in development. Sigh. My sister was so positive, she seemed totally sure that everything is going to be fine. I'm starting to worry if I'm coming home with three babies and what that life will be like.
The hardest part was having to wait all night while Scott was on the plane so I could update him when he finally called. The last thing he heard was that it was girls and that they were healthy. I hated having to tell him yet another development. We're only at 15 weeks, we have a whole other half of pregnancy to go. He's such a rock, he just takes it in stride. Somehow, I feel like this is my fault. It's half of my DNA, they're in my body. I still think that as much as Scott really wanted kids, I wanted them more. I got us to where we are today, going through IVF, choosing to put in 2 embryos and not just one. I can't help but feel responsible.
We go back in two weeks, Scott will be back by then, which is a blessing. I miss him so much and it's a tough time. I really wish he was here.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
14w3d It's getting better=)
Thursday 14w3d
Weight=178 lb (original pre-pregnancy weight=185 lb)
Symptoms: fatigue, getting tuckered out easily, mild nausea depending on the time of day, sensitive chest, headaches daily (also a side effect of medicine)
Well, week 14 has actually brought improvement. The nausea got better if I kept eating...then that stopped working and it got way worse. Then, this past week I've noticed a huge difference. I get bouts of nausea but a majority of the day, I'm feeling okay. Still not hungry and I still have to put into thought into what I can eat, a lot of food aversions still...but I'm actually eating now. Not a lot but a moderate amount.
The belly is pooching out, I bought two new maternity jeans with these lovely elastic waistbands. They're so comfortable...oh my goodness, I want to keep wearing them even after I'm not pregnant anymore. One of them seems to fit but I wore it to work last night and I think it's a little too early. As soon as I start to walk or put stuff in my pocket, the jeans start to pull down and the elastic band is creeping down my butt=).
We have already gotten baby stuff, a lot of hand-me-down baby clothes...we don't know the gender so hoping to find out soon so we can figure out if we're keeping anything or giving anything back. This is the first week I haven't had a doctor's appointment and it's killing me. I just start to think that maybe something is wrong and I have this insane fear that the next ultrasound will show that we lost a baby. I want an appt every week.
I'm super fatigued still. Which is weird because I've been having trouble sleeping. I wake up every three hours to pee and I am pretty much wide awake by 6 in the morning. There's so much I want to do around the house but after doing a few things, I'm tuckered out and I am back to lying down. At my count, I only have about 6 weeks of work left. I'm trying to get everything in at work, that's my sole focus. I'm also trying to find out about leave...there version of maternity leave is family leave-UNPAID!!! I have to burn all my sick leave, vacation, and comp time, and that will get me to right before the birth. I called Finance and asked about TDI but the lady said I had to have less than 15 days sick leave to qualify. She said she would find out and call me back but she hasn't yet.Oh boy, everything is overwhelming.
I'm at work. I'm eating chicken spaghetti. It's weird how my tastes have changed. Now I like it heavy on the noodles and light on the meat. I wish I knew that when I was packing lunch. I don't have enough noodles. I think I can't eat anything mildly sweet, especially in the morning. I tried cereal but that didn't go so well, it might have been the milk may have been expired. I tried a blueberry muffin this morning, nope. Nothing sweet in the morning from now on.
Weight=178 lb (original pre-pregnancy weight=185 lb)
Symptoms: fatigue, getting tuckered out easily, mild nausea depending on the time of day, sensitive chest, headaches daily (also a side effect of medicine)
Well, week 14 has actually brought improvement. The nausea got better if I kept eating...then that stopped working and it got way worse. Then, this past week I've noticed a huge difference. I get bouts of nausea but a majority of the day, I'm feeling okay. Still not hungry and I still have to put into thought into what I can eat, a lot of food aversions still...but I'm actually eating now. Not a lot but a moderate amount.
The belly is pooching out, I bought two new maternity jeans with these lovely elastic waistbands. They're so comfortable...oh my goodness, I want to keep wearing them even after I'm not pregnant anymore. One of them seems to fit but I wore it to work last night and I think it's a little too early. As soon as I start to walk or put stuff in my pocket, the jeans start to pull down and the elastic band is creeping down my butt=).
We have already gotten baby stuff, a lot of hand-me-down baby clothes...we don't know the gender so hoping to find out soon so we can figure out if we're keeping anything or giving anything back. This is the first week I haven't had a doctor's appointment and it's killing me. I just start to think that maybe something is wrong and I have this insane fear that the next ultrasound will show that we lost a baby. I want an appt every week.
I'm super fatigued still. Which is weird because I've been having trouble sleeping. I wake up every three hours to pee and I am pretty much wide awake by 6 in the morning. There's so much I want to do around the house but after doing a few things, I'm tuckered out and I am back to lying down. At my count, I only have about 6 weeks of work left. I'm trying to get everything in at work, that's my sole focus. I'm also trying to find out about leave...there version of maternity leave is family leave-UNPAID!!! I have to burn all my sick leave, vacation, and comp time, and that will get me to right before the birth. I called Finance and asked about TDI but the lady said I had to have less than 15 days sick leave to qualify. She said she would find out and call me back but she hasn't yet.Oh boy, everything is overwhelming.
I'm at work. I'm eating chicken spaghetti. It's weird how my tastes have changed. Now I like it heavy on the noodles and light on the meat. I wish I knew that when I was packing lunch. I don't have enough noodles. I think I can't eat anything mildly sweet, especially in the morning. I tried cereal but that didn't go so well, it might have been the milk may have been expired. I tried a blueberry muffin this morning, nope. Nothing sweet in the morning from now on.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
13w1d Regular OB visit
Count: 13w1d
Weight=179 lb
Symptoms: Nausea was horrendous but I've discovered the force feeding myself small meals of carb-high meals really helps and I have hours of normalcy, belly is bulging!!!
So, my count is one day faster than normal. But I want to keep consistent for my blog posts so I'm going by 13 w 1 d although technically I'm actually only 13 weeks. I've been beyond nauseous for the past four days...I was taking 3 pills instead of the prescribed 2 pills of medicine a day...one day I took four. My hubby made Beef stew and I broke it into two small meals and ate it two hours apart...and I started to feel less nauseous. It was amazing. By the time, I went to my OB I was on cloud nine and feeling so good.
The OB doesn't have a spectacular ultrasound machine but she's an amazing doctor. So gentle with the ultrasound wand, didn't press too hard. The fraternal showed up first. He/she was slowly moving. Then we saw the bigger identical...I could totally see the the spine and legs stretched out. It was awesome. I just have the biggest smile on my face while watching my babies. the bigger identical is head down...almost doing a perfect headstand. I couldn't see the smaller identical so I started to worry and the OB was searching for him/her. We figured out why he/she was so hard to find, she/he was almost perfectly behind the bigger identical. They're both head-down and facing each other. The smaller identical was moving and I could see the little hands. I giggled happily because it looked like they were hugging and touching each other but the doc says they're not in the same plane. She agreed that the smaller identical is smaller...and she doesn't even take measurements. She was showing me the difference between the identicals and referring to one as "the small head."
I wonder how bad it is that the small one is small. I know when twins are born, one is usually smaller, but I think they tend to start off in the beginning pretty similiar. Neither doctor is really saying. I brought up the large NT scan and she said the value was around 4...she didn't look at my chart so she may be wrong but 4 is so much better than 5. I asked her why I was not doing blood tests and she said you couldn't with triplets. It doesn't work. You can do it with twins, because they take the values and divide them by 2 but you can't work it with triplets. She said I could have an amnio if I planned to terminate if they/one had Down's for example but I wouldn't have an amnio unless I planned to terminate because it's much higher risk of miscarriage for triplets. No to termination and no to amnio for me then.
Ugh, I didn't sleep enough and I'm at work. I had a long case... a lot of work and I'm feeling it. I'm dying. I hit a physical fatigue wall. I need to go home and sleep. To night is going to be tough too because I have to wake up early to work early, doing a presentation which I really didn't have time to plan enough for. Youch.
Weight=179 lb
Symptoms: Nausea was horrendous but I've discovered the force feeding myself small meals of carb-high meals really helps and I have hours of normalcy, belly is bulging!!!
So, my count is one day faster than normal. But I want to keep consistent for my blog posts so I'm going by 13 w 1 d although technically I'm actually only 13 weeks. I've been beyond nauseous for the past four days...I was taking 3 pills instead of the prescribed 2 pills of medicine a day...one day I took four. My hubby made Beef stew and I broke it into two small meals and ate it two hours apart...and I started to feel less nauseous. It was amazing. By the time, I went to my OB I was on cloud nine and feeling so good.
The OB doesn't have a spectacular ultrasound machine but she's an amazing doctor. So gentle with the ultrasound wand, didn't press too hard. The fraternal showed up first. He/she was slowly moving. Then we saw the bigger identical...I could totally see the the spine and legs stretched out. It was awesome. I just have the biggest smile on my face while watching my babies. the bigger identical is head down...almost doing a perfect headstand. I couldn't see the smaller identical so I started to worry and the OB was searching for him/her. We figured out why he/she was so hard to find, she/he was almost perfectly behind the bigger identical. They're both head-down and facing each other. The smaller identical was moving and I could see the little hands. I giggled happily because it looked like they were hugging and touching each other but the doc says they're not in the same plane. She agreed that the smaller identical is smaller...and she doesn't even take measurements. She was showing me the difference between the identicals and referring to one as "the small head."
I wonder how bad it is that the small one is small. I know when twins are born, one is usually smaller, but I think they tend to start off in the beginning pretty similiar. Neither doctor is really saying. I brought up the large NT scan and she said the value was around 4...she didn't look at my chart so she may be wrong but 4 is so much better than 5. I asked her why I was not doing blood tests and she said you couldn't with triplets. It doesn't work. You can do it with twins, because they take the values and divide them by 2 but you can't work it with triplets. She said I could have an amnio if I planned to terminate if they/one had Down's for example but I wouldn't have an amnio unless I planned to terminate because it's much higher risk of miscarriage for triplets. No to termination and no to amnio for me then.
Ugh, I didn't sleep enough and I'm at work. I had a long case... a lot of work and I'm feeling it. I'm dying. I hit a physical fatigue wall. I need to go home and sleep. To night is going to be tough too because I have to wake up early to work early, doing a presentation which I really didn't have time to plan enough for. Youch.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
12w3d
Weight=177.1 (beginning was 184-185 lb)
Symptoms=Hair seems thicker, chest seems fuller, belly bulge, nausea and gagging
Yesterday afternoon, we met with the specialist again. I just saw the babies last week on my regular OB dinky ultrasound machine. Today was the specialist so we got to see the babies again and for longer periods of time. Man, we just saw them on the same machine two weeks ago and the difference is startling. They've only grown half an inch or so but on the screen they look so much bigger.
The identical twins look even more squished than usual. They have grown more in the same space.
Baby A (the squished identical) is measuring pretty good. He's definitely at the bottom of the uterus, the doc has to really push on the wand to get a glimpse of him. We use "him" just because it's easier...we're hoping for 2 girls and one boy. Baby A measures 11 weeks 5 days, just about 4 days behind and completely normal. His heartrate is in the 180's but the doc says that's normal. He didn't move too much but he looks beautiful.
Baby B (fattie identical) measures 12 weeks 5 days. See the difference. He's about 3 days ahead in growth and 6 cm long. He was jumping like crazy. sometimes you could get a glimpse of fingers by his face. The doc took NT measurements (couldn't for Baby A because he couldn't get a good view) and the doc must have measured it like 10 times. That didn't bode well for me. The doc finally told us at the end that it was high (I think I saw a 5 on the screen) but we can do nothing more than just watch. His heartrate was in the 150s. He would kick his legs and he would bounce in his sac, it totally made me laugh to watch. I promised myself I wouldn't google but a high NT measurement can indicate a chromosomal disorder or possible heart problems, but it's not definitive. I'm just not going to worry about it. I mostly worry about baby A keeping up in growth with the rest.
Baby C (the fraternal sitting up at the top of the uterus) is also measuring 12w5d and has a heartrate in the 150s. He was also very active and I could totally see a hand by the face. His NT measurements were normal and the doc says he's doing dandy.
And we totally got blessed with pictures. We didn't get pictures the last time we were there, but he printed out pics of all three...although the fraternal pic looks like a staticy tv and I can't see anything. I have a regular OB visit in less than a week and then we don't return to the specialist until two weeks after that.
He said that I need to plan to be out of work by at least 20 weeks and when I brought up my work trip to a class in Florida in a month (I'll be about 17 weeks then), he laughed and said "NO" so fast I thought he was joking. Apparently he's not joking and I'm landbound for the rest of this pregnancy.
The nausea is really there but really doable with the medicine and just the lessening as I march into 13 weeks. But the problem is forcing myself to eat. I never never feel hungry and I don't really like the taste of anything. Nothing gives me a sense of "Yum, that tastes good" and I definitely don't get any satisfaction. Instead it feels like a chore to try to get down enough food and it actually gets real tiring and I resent eating. Man, I know I struggle with overeating and being overweight because of the joy I get out of food, but God gives us that joy for a reason. If you get no joy out of eating, the last thing you want to go near is food. It's kind of depressing because I struggle every day just to find something to fill up my two meals a day...and I'm running out of ideas. I cannot wait ...I mean it...I cannot wait until I am starving and I can wolf down a meal. People keep telling me "Oh, you don't want that, i wasn't able to stop eating during my pregnancy" but I need to eat. I have to gain weight and keep these babies fed and I can't exist on grapes and chips for very long.
Symptoms=Hair seems thicker, chest seems fuller, belly bulge, nausea and gagging
Yesterday afternoon, we met with the specialist again. I just saw the babies last week on my regular OB dinky ultrasound machine. Today was the specialist so we got to see the babies again and for longer periods of time. Man, we just saw them on the same machine two weeks ago and the difference is startling. They've only grown half an inch or so but on the screen they look so much bigger.
The identical twins look even more squished than usual. They have grown more in the same space.
Baby A (the squished identical) is measuring pretty good. He's definitely at the bottom of the uterus, the doc has to really push on the wand to get a glimpse of him. We use "him" just because it's easier...we're hoping for 2 girls and one boy. Baby A measures 11 weeks 5 days, just about 4 days behind and completely normal. His heartrate is in the 180's but the doc says that's normal. He didn't move too much but he looks beautiful.
Baby B (fattie identical) measures 12 weeks 5 days. See the difference. He's about 3 days ahead in growth and 6 cm long. He was jumping like crazy. sometimes you could get a glimpse of fingers by his face. The doc took NT measurements (couldn't for Baby A because he couldn't get a good view) and the doc must have measured it like 10 times. That didn't bode well for me. The doc finally told us at the end that it was high (I think I saw a 5 on the screen) but we can do nothing more than just watch. His heartrate was in the 150s. He would kick his legs and he would bounce in his sac, it totally made me laugh to watch. I promised myself I wouldn't google but a high NT measurement can indicate a chromosomal disorder or possible heart problems, but it's not definitive. I'm just not going to worry about it. I mostly worry about baby A keeping up in growth with the rest.
Baby C (the fraternal sitting up at the top of the uterus) is also measuring 12w5d and has a heartrate in the 150s. He was also very active and I could totally see a hand by the face. His NT measurements were normal and the doc says he's doing dandy.
And we totally got blessed with pictures. We didn't get pictures the last time we were there, but he printed out pics of all three...although the fraternal pic looks like a staticy tv and I can't see anything. I have a regular OB visit in less than a week and then we don't return to the specialist until two weeks after that.
He said that I need to plan to be out of work by at least 20 weeks and when I brought up my work trip to a class in Florida in a month (I'll be about 17 weeks then), he laughed and said "NO" so fast I thought he was joking. Apparently he's not joking and I'm landbound for the rest of this pregnancy.
The nausea is really there but really doable with the medicine and just the lessening as I march into 13 weeks. But the problem is forcing myself to eat. I never never feel hungry and I don't really like the taste of anything. Nothing gives me a sense of "Yum, that tastes good" and I definitely don't get any satisfaction. Instead it feels like a chore to try to get down enough food and it actually gets real tiring and I resent eating. Man, I know I struggle with overeating and being overweight because of the joy I get out of food, but God gives us that joy for a reason. If you get no joy out of eating, the last thing you want to go near is food. It's kind of depressing because I struggle every day just to find something to fill up my two meals a day...and I'm running out of ideas. I cannot wait ...I mean it...I cannot wait until I am starving and I can wolf down a meal. People keep telling me "Oh, you don't want that, i wasn't able to stop eating during my pregnancy" but I need to eat. I have to gain weight and keep these babies fed and I can't exist on grapes and chips for very long.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
12 weeks pregnant
Weight: haven't weighed myself but I'm sure I've gained half the weight back
Symptoms: Fatigue (may be from nausea medicine), nausea ( thank you Zof.ran), belly bulge, constipation
I'm at work. Third night in a row. It took me two days and a lot of mess to get my sick days lined up and I realize that for this year, I only have 6 days of sick left. I still have leftover from previous years...thank goodness. Thank God it has been slow. I've used all that time to work...I've kept myself busy although I move slowly.
Now for the nausea update, I'm at the 12 week mark so I'm looking for improvement. Was hoping it would completely dissolve. I try not to take my medicine right away to test out the waters. It's definitely better but that gagging thing just doesn't stop. It seems that not only smells aggravate it, but moving. I'll be walking and start to gag...stop...breathe...try to take a step and I'm gagging again. Driving...gag. So I take medicine and I don't really notice a huge improvement in the nausea but I stop gagging. I try to eat tons...here's my list of safe foods
grapes (love love love...I was so bummed when I ran out at work.)
Honey nut cereal
chips (Doritos)
watery saimin (doesn't taste appealing to me but it is a substantial meal for me)
I suffer a little at work...it's not fun. I have noticed that (since I work the midnight shift), I do start to feel an hour or two of goodness around 4 in the morning.
Two weeks more.
I'm kind of bummed because I come home from work...shower...and go to bed. And I just can't get out of bed until a few hours before I have to work again. I have so much to do. The belly is bulging and I can only fit two of my pants. Heck, I don't care if I wear them every other day, fashion is not high priority for me but I'm going to have to get more clothes. Can't believe I made it through 3 work days, two more to go this week. Woo hoo.
Oooh, I found someone who lives nearby that has year-old triplets. Oh, she seems super nice...I hope I can pick her brain.
Symptoms: Fatigue (may be from nausea medicine), nausea ( thank you Zof.ran), belly bulge, constipation
I'm at work. Third night in a row. It took me two days and a lot of mess to get my sick days lined up and I realize that for this year, I only have 6 days of sick left. I still have leftover from previous years...thank goodness. Thank God it has been slow. I've used all that time to work...I've kept myself busy although I move slowly.
Now for the nausea update, I'm at the 12 week mark so I'm looking for improvement. Was hoping it would completely dissolve. I try not to take my medicine right away to test out the waters. It's definitely better but that gagging thing just doesn't stop. It seems that not only smells aggravate it, but moving. I'll be walking and start to gag...stop...breathe...try to take a step and I'm gagging again. Driving...gag. So I take medicine and I don't really notice a huge improvement in the nausea but I stop gagging. I try to eat tons...here's my list of safe foods
grapes (love love love...I was so bummed when I ran out at work.)
Honey nut cereal
chips (Doritos)
watery saimin (doesn't taste appealing to me but it is a substantial meal for me)
I suffer a little at work...it's not fun. I have noticed that (since I work the midnight shift), I do start to feel an hour or two of goodness around 4 in the morning.
Two weeks more.
I'm kind of bummed because I come home from work...shower...and go to bed. And I just can't get out of bed until a few hours before I have to work again. I have so much to do. The belly is bulging and I can only fit two of my pants. Heck, I don't care if I wear them every other day, fashion is not high priority for me but I'm going to have to get more clothes. Can't believe I made it through 3 work days, two more to go this week. Woo hoo.
Oooh, I found someone who lives nearby that has year-old triplets. Oh, she seems super nice...I hope I can pick her brain.
Friday, April 16, 2010
11w3d Happiness and guilt
Symptoms: Insomnia, inability to sleep longer than 4 hours, lessening nausea
Thanks to a wonderful new medicine and a strong resolve to follow orders of constant cereal snacking and attempts to eat real food have resulted in almost 16 hours of pretty good feeling. Woohoo. Now, I'm finally getting back to where I have hours where I almost feel completely normal. It's wonderful. I'm so thankful to God. Today, I only slept for four hours so I feel so tired and groggy but I didn't feel too nauseous.
We were invited to a BBQ and so I took a pill of medicine to ready myself and we went. It's all people from my husband's workplace who are mostly women (and their families) and I knew there was going to be a lot of gushing. Let's get this over with. So we did...and people gushed. I'm not really comfortable with that much attention...I'm not a wallflower but I do get a little shy when people are looking at me. I told Scott that I absolutely hate the idea of people touching my stomach. I insist that if people ever try to touch my stomach I would slap their hands away. I use to take martial arts, I have quick hands...cheehaw. Well, the first one who rushed to me is our sweet sweet friend who started rubbing my tummy. Scott gave me the expectant look. There's no way I can tell her no. Who was second in line to not only rub the tummy but she leaned over and started talking to my tummy, but another absolute sweetheart. So, I gave up...I didn't like it but my tummy was touched all night. It's just weird to me because I'm still small so it's not like I feel it's babies they're touching...they're just rubbing my chub. Nice.
It was a wonderful night. There was this awesome chili, but I think it was made with turkey which I love so much better. It wasn't spicy and that with rice was perfection. I didn't pig out but compared to my usual meals, it was pretty close to a full meal. Yahoo. It was a little uncomfortable because it was all about triplets but this is the first time people are seeing me so it's expected. People kept asking if it runs in our families and I said it does but that we also went through fertility treatments. And after a while, we managed to turn the conversations to other things and it got a little more normal.
But it brings me to a new issue that I am facing. Guilt. We put our good news on facebook. And tonight we obviously were the topic at the party. But there are other women, sweet beautiful women who are congratulating me and hugging me and I know how much they also really want children. We know these amazing women...these amazing couples who have been praying to start families and Scott and I have been praying for them every night. Every night when we prayed to be blessed with a baby, we lifted them in prayer. Because as much as our hearts ache for a child or children, we know theirs must ache as well. Now, as they hug me, I feel unexplainable guilt...because I know what it's like to be in their shoes. Watching others announce the happiest news in the world...seeing their glow...watching as everyone gushes with excitement for them. Now, I stand on the other side and my heart aches. Because I would never give up being on this side, but they deserve to be on this side with me now.
I hope they understand the look in my eyes "I'm still one of you. I'm still with you." Even with children on the way, my life and my heart has forever been molded by the painful journey of prayers, hope and tears of infertility. At the party, there were two women who really want children but have not been able to YET. I can honestly say they deserve it more than I do. They are so sweet, truly they are mothers to their friends and everyone around them. Sacrificing everything of themselves, always generous and thoughtful, the definition of warm. They hugged me and both whispered "I've been praying for you two." and all I can say is "I'm praying for you too." And I am. I don't know what to say, I don't want to say the cliche things. Everyone is celebrating and rejoicing in our answered prayer, but I know there are others who prayers aren't answered. And just as I struggled and questioned God all those longs months that stretched into years of "No," I can't say anything now because I don't know why God answered my prayer and not theirs. Yet. It was a mystery to me and still is.
I have no advice. No consoling words. I don't want to feed the cliche "Don't worry, it will happen to you." Because those words never gave me peace. I can't say that because I don't know that. All I can do is hug them and hope they sense how much I want this for them. I feel so happy for what God has done for me and Scott but I won't be satisfied until everyone on my prayer list has the chance to experience that joy.
Thanks to a wonderful new medicine and a strong resolve to follow orders of constant cereal snacking and attempts to eat real food have resulted in almost 16 hours of pretty good feeling. Woohoo. Now, I'm finally getting back to where I have hours where I almost feel completely normal. It's wonderful. I'm so thankful to God. Today, I only slept for four hours so I feel so tired and groggy but I didn't feel too nauseous.
We were invited to a BBQ and so I took a pill of medicine to ready myself and we went. It's all people from my husband's workplace who are mostly women (and their families) and I knew there was going to be a lot of gushing. Let's get this over with. So we did...and people gushed. I'm not really comfortable with that much attention...I'm not a wallflower but I do get a little shy when people are looking at me. I told Scott that I absolutely hate the idea of people touching my stomach. I insist that if people ever try to touch my stomach I would slap their hands away. I use to take martial arts, I have quick hands...cheehaw. Well, the first one who rushed to me is our sweet sweet friend who started rubbing my tummy. Scott gave me the expectant look. There's no way I can tell her no. Who was second in line to not only rub the tummy but she leaned over and started talking to my tummy, but another absolute sweetheart. So, I gave up...I didn't like it but my tummy was touched all night. It's just weird to me because I'm still small so it's not like I feel it's babies they're touching...they're just rubbing my chub. Nice.
It was a wonderful night. There was this awesome chili, but I think it was made with turkey which I love so much better. It wasn't spicy and that with rice was perfection. I didn't pig out but compared to my usual meals, it was pretty close to a full meal. Yahoo. It was a little uncomfortable because it was all about triplets but this is the first time people are seeing me so it's expected. People kept asking if it runs in our families and I said it does but that we also went through fertility treatments. And after a while, we managed to turn the conversations to other things and it got a little more normal.
But it brings me to a new issue that I am facing. Guilt. We put our good news on facebook. And tonight we obviously were the topic at the party. But there are other women, sweet beautiful women who are congratulating me and hugging me and I know how much they also really want children. We know these amazing women...these amazing couples who have been praying to start families and Scott and I have been praying for them every night. Every night when we prayed to be blessed with a baby, we lifted them in prayer. Because as much as our hearts ache for a child or children, we know theirs must ache as well. Now, as they hug me, I feel unexplainable guilt...because I know what it's like to be in their shoes. Watching others announce the happiest news in the world...seeing their glow...watching as everyone gushes with excitement for them. Now, I stand on the other side and my heart aches. Because I would never give up being on this side, but they deserve to be on this side with me now.
I hope they understand the look in my eyes "I'm still one of you. I'm still with you." Even with children on the way, my life and my heart has forever been molded by the painful journey of prayers, hope and tears of infertility. At the party, there were two women who really want children but have not been able to YET. I can honestly say they deserve it more than I do. They are so sweet, truly they are mothers to their friends and everyone around them. Sacrificing everything of themselves, always generous and thoughtful, the definition of warm. They hugged me and both whispered "I've been praying for you two." and all I can say is "I'm praying for you too." And I am. I don't know what to say, I don't want to say the cliche things. Everyone is celebrating and rejoicing in our answered prayer, but I know there are others who prayers aren't answered. And just as I struggled and questioned God all those longs months that stretched into years of "No," I can't say anything now because I don't know why God answered my prayer and not theirs. Yet. It was a mystery to me and still is.
I have no advice. No consoling words. I don't want to feed the cliche "Don't worry, it will happen to you." Because those words never gave me peace. I can't say that because I don't know that. All I can do is hug them and hope they sense how much I want this for them. I feel so happy for what God has done for me and Scott but I won't be satisfied until everyone on my prayer list has the chance to experience that joy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)